Rose

Oops.

archiveofourown.org/works/66951403

I'm getting a side gig with a cat sitting company! This will not pay as much as bartending probably would, but it is also perfect because I would happily pet cats for free.

It's the alarm that goes off. I'll figure it out! But it has made me sooo wary of ADT for sure.

I have heard nothing but ADT horror stories, however.

Haha, thank you. The thing is, the oven I think is fine. It's how the oven is interacting with whatever leftover ADR sensors are doing whatever they're doing. I don't have an account, so they won't help, but the panel is still in the wall. I'm very close to taking a hammer to the whole situation.

Oh yay!!!

My solution to this was to buy a toaster oven that can fit an entire pizza and just cook with that for the last 20 months. My New Year's resolution was to make it so I can use my oven, but it is June and I have not done that. So that's how I'm doing.

For an example of the state of my life: I have lived in this condo since September of 2023. The previous owner had a terrible ADT alarm system and every time I use the oven the fire alarm goes off. Not the stove, even when there's smoke, no. Just the oven. Why? Who knows!

I love my condo so much. It was worth it. It was not a mistake, but it sure was a Choice. It's a good thing I love it because it's where all the money goes until I get a new job or marry a fancy, childfree, lesbian doctor. Neither option is looking incredibly likely currently.

It doesn't really matter that the fancy doctors are gay, except that I would also like to be a fancy gay DINK who can afford home improvements, but instead I'm a house poor gay who made Questionable Financial Choices and now can't afford to buy a new couch.

The fancy gay DINK doctors who bought the condo next door are redoing their floors and there has been SO MUCH banging. Later in the summer, we're redoing the roof and I have a top floor unit, so there will be even more banging. I need to take the cats and run away to the beach for a month.

I keep saying I need a side hustle and my friends are trying to get me to bartend, but I may just start selling plasma.

Though one of my friends says he's opening a gay bar in our neighborhood. Maybe I will bartend and also sell plasma.

I mean, I actually really like the Leverage revival too, but you can't trust open canon.

Does anyone have a show that you loved through the whole thing and that you felt ended in a satisfying way? I want a new thing, but something with a closed canon that will soothe me.

Examples that fit this category for me are Elementary, OG Leverage, Kevin Can F*ck Himself (though it's darker).

At war with another member of the condo board. Gonna sneak into his apt while he's out of town and hide raw shrimp in his couch cushions.

I don't even go here, I just visit, but everything surrounding the current 9-1-1 fandom crash out is giving me Supernatural war flashbacks.

People keep trying to sell me on the benefits of smartwatches. No thank you! I don't need to know that much about my body on an ongoing basis. That's none of my business, sounds anxiety inducing.

I don't need the robots to tell me my sleep schedule is fucked. I know. I was there.

Yay, the unprecedented possibilities for connection! Yay, machine learning!

Nope! The internet sucks now, everyone's mean, AI was a mistake, social media was arguably a mistake, everything is algorithms and paywalls all the way down. I don't like it, I don't want it, I am not having a good time.

But I don't WANT to and I'm thisclose to losing my shit. You will never catch me asking AI to write my emails oldmanyellsatcloud.gif

I remember when I was young and cool. I remember when I was a techno evangelist with my whole-ass degree in culture and technology, all bright-eyed and excited.

What do you MEAN, here is an announcement about our new AI partnership? What do you MEAN, here is our recommended AI tool? I know I have to at least learn how it all works so I don't tank whatever is left of my career in the DOGE aftermath -

I'm so old. I don't mean in general, because that can be contextual, but working in tech every day I feel like I'm scrambling because of how every time someone says the words "generative AI" and I just start hissing like an angry cat.

Our main data analyst just quit. I'm just going to start screaming. I keep bemoaning the fact the job market is in free fall, so where do all of these people keep going?!

Things that are not great about owning a condo:
1) The community (derogatory)
2) The management company (derogatory)
3) Condo dues (obviously derogatory)
4) Being on the board and someone else's kitchen flooding being my problem first thing on a Monday morning

Things that are great about owning a condo:
1) The community (complimentary)
2) Having a management company
3) Shared responsibility for building maintenance
4) I never, ever have to shovel snow
5) Group chat where I can ask someone to go feed my cats if needed

Whatever 9-1-1 is doing with the stupid gay firefighters, they just need to do it before I end up actually in a fandom again. I don't have the time or emotional bandwidth for all that.

*Not you, Elementary, you're perfect.

**I don't even want to say which show because the episode JUST aired and ~spoilers~. But it's not one I'm particularly peeved about. Could be interesting. It's just - every. time.

It just always drives home the double standard because OTOH there are seven years of pining and tension between two same sex characters and you have people going "you know two men can just be friends!!" Yeah, I know. We see it all the time. A man and a woman can too, yet HERE WE ARE.

You know, every time I'm watching a television show and think to myself "I am really enjoying the way they have developed a deep and meaningful platonic friendship between this man and this woman," they immediately kiss.* I'm not even mad this time!** Just fine! It's a fucking scarecrow again.

My whole team got laid off except for me and now I have to do social media management again, my absolute least favorite thing about working in PR. I very purposefully do not work in PR anymore. I'm so mad.

*sigh* *sigh* I am old and out of touch.