Shelton is my middle name. @dickravis

They like kibble 😁

14.08.2025 01:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

03.07.2025 18:27 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

They taste a lot different.

02.07.2025 18:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Shoot them.

29.06.2025 01:36 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Head shots.

23.06.2025 03:42 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I'm listening to Europe '72 right now.

30.05.2025 18:10 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

*GALL

11.05.2025 00:22 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Yeah - that's it ...the ol' zero pulse coma. 🙄

10.05.2025 16:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Someone should calm him down ...so that his racing pulse is reduced to nothing.

09.05.2025 22:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

hillary clinton making a funny face while speaking into a microphone ALT: hillary clinton making a funny face while speaking into a microphone

24.04.2025 12:36 — 👍 49 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

'We The People ...but not *poor* people, they're gross.'

07.04.2025 02:22 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

'...young.'

02.04.2025 12:47 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

'BUT SHE LAUGHED! ...A LOT!'

20.03.2025 19:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Taking a shit is important.

12.03.2025 14:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

TOTALLY FAIR.

01.03.2025 18:49 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

That's called a pre-vu.

24.02.2025 00:10 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Finger lickin' good.

24.02.2025 00:09 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

For all you optimists out there, no, this does not mean they finally got married.

22.02.2025 14:29 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

'Recoiled in horror'

22.02.2025 14:25 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

'I told you so. Good luck and peace the fuck out.'
-KH.

19.02.2025 04:44 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

'Just tugging at your sack...'

18.02.2025 16:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It don't make no nevermind to me, but the only reason the guy is still in prison is because he bragged about sucking dick.

17.02.2025 02:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

YOU MISSED THE COMMA.

15.02.2025 23:01 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

a cartoon character is sitting at a desk with a sarcasm detector ALT: a cartoon character is sitting at a desk with a sarcasm detector

15.02.2025 17:32 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Do they make one that inserts the stick up your ass automatically?

15.02.2025 17:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

(Stares wistfully at the half-full bottle of sildnafil ...then sets it back in the sock drawer.)

09.02.2025 03:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

04.02.2025 03:24 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

KILLIONAIRES.

02.02.2025 23:54 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It's all part of my rock and roll fantasy...

01.02.2025 05:09 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

...and you gotta know he stiffed whoever took that fucking picture.
🙄

30.01.2025 01:25 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Shelton is my middle name.

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