shoshana

a bit under fluent i’m afraid

just popping by to show you guys the matching femme/masc phone cases i made

RUTH - vintage lesbian who has a 'roommate'
BOAZ - bisexual man; the perfect kinsey 3
NAOMI - frum lesbian who left her husband and the community and came out all within like, a week and a half
TZIPPORAH - straight woman but gay vibes; all her lesbian friends are in love with her

ACHASHVEROSH - straight guy who pretended to support gay marriage his whole career but only did it when it was profitable
HAMAN - closeted politician who supports homophobic legislation; it's an open secret that he sleeps with men
MORDECHAI - proud straight father of a gay child

YONATAN - monogamous gay man who lets his boyfriend sleep around
DAVID - gay man who has a monogamous boyfriend but sleeps around
BAT YIFTACH - tumblr queer
JOB - heterosexual male who uses grindr to find friends
ESTHER - femme bisexual woman

MOSHE - corporate gay
MIRIAM - crunchy lesbian
AHARON - twink
YEHOSHUA - straight son of a gay dad
SHAUL - heterosexual who committed hate crimes in his youth and then became a cop
SHMUEL - queer elder who splits his time between the city and fire island

RACHEL - straight but kisses girls when she's drunk
LEAH - closeted lesbian
REUVEN - straight but tries to learn gay lingo to be nice to his gay brother
YEHUDA - straight but homophobic to his gay brother
YOSEF - gay brother
DINA - bi sister
YISHMAEL - polyamorous straight man

SARAH - straight woman but thinks being poly makes her queerer than she is
YITZCHAK - homosexual man in a lavender marriage
RIVKA - lesbian in a lavender marriage
YAAKOV - straight man with homoerotic tendencies (wrestling mysterious men on the riverbank)
ESAV - bear

OFFICIAL GAY VIBES LIST OF TANACH CHARACTERS:

ADAM - straight man
CHAVA - bisexual woman
NOAH - straight except for that one time
AVRAHAM - straight but in a healthy way; doesnt feel weird telling his friends he thinks theyre hot

'bnot tzelofchad had masculine souls'
'yitzchak was born with the soul of a woman'

sure but when i say 'family of masc bitches' and 'vibes of an effeminate boy whose dad peaked playing high school football' i get yelled at

everyone always talks about the several genders of the talmud but nobody ever talks about the rabbis having a shorthand for denoting 'masc/femme' and 'i think that guy's a little gay'

sorry just saw one too many frum men mocking 'jewish feminists' instead of engaging with the text of the megillah and wondering why one might be able to come to the conclusions that some women come to

in fact, in the plain story of the text, i think that's how it should be read.

midrashim and mefarshim go into overdrive regarding vashti, but i do think some part of her pshat story is supposed to make you pause and realise the hell that esther is about to enter into

i dont think it's weird when jewish women read the pshat of the purim story & feel sadness for a woman who is nothing but a pawn in the world of her husband, and who is stripped of dignity for trying to exercise bodily autonomy.

i think it's weird when men are derisive of women bc of it

my favourite thing about conclave was the yarmulkes

standards of male beauty. nor how it echoes jewish men being accused of corrupting non jewish women.

fellas we are witnessing centuries old tropes being wielded en mass in real time.

i think antisemitism is so baked into our society, people don’t realise they engage in differing levels of it on a daily basis.

its not a huge stretch to point out the ways in which a man is being judged based on eurocentric (contd)

- features that are very jewish being spoken about with such contempt bc he is a public figure

- the notion that selena is “too good for him” and he/his features are beneath her like he’s some kind of corrupting or social climbing creature

- “he’s just unkempt” it’s a jewfro

i’m gonna say it.

all the talk about benny blanco being really ugly reeks of antisemitism.

i have AMAZING news for every jew with tummy issues (and also those with debt)

me if rereading the little midrash says was a crime

me if saying “yisgadal vyiskadash” any time i face a minor inconvenience were a crime

me if drinking kedem grape juice was a crime

me if loving hashem was a crime

biblically accurately sydney opera house

they’re gonna cancel oscar for having zionist ties

updates to come.

rebuilding a following is hard and time consuming. i’m gonna change my game here. here is my daily fart chart, as of 10.30am this morning.

the talmud according to conspiracy theorists:

if you see a non jew in the street slap them in the face and pee on them, the non jew is vile and we hate them so much

the actual talmud:

the rabbis are disagreeing about farting at work again :(

i’m mostly just posting poetry and dog pics anyway, i suppose that can happen anywhere