Sophie ΘΔ 💕🌸 Your Cherry Blossom Panda Girl 🌸💕

Quick break from bunny obsession to sketch some kitty titties #NSFW #FurryArt

Seeing this lovely art brings back fond memories from the mediterranean spending time on the French beaches. I can remember the smell of the air.

The buffalo should get an award.

So you think that your an artist for serving up machine slop.

I have had a productive few minutes with the block button and now I have these nice search results. It's the same result for number of other tags they use.

Another round of the block hammer enacted on the machine generated slop accounts.

Seems that I'm slapping my paw on the block button for those fake engagement accounts. Plus computational machine generated content accounts.

"Biological"

Autocorrect stop being a bitch!

Meanwhile my brain continues to generate to many questions.
What are the boundaries of what is and isn't consenting. As a person myself that freaks out if someone just touches me. People being so intimate with each other is so confusing to me.

As I view smut/porn I don't fantasise or lust after the people I see. I'm curious as to what it is there expecting. How there able to participate in intimate desires.

As for the horny on here. I'm a biology being and sexuality is a function of this. Unfortunately for myself this is un for filled. I don't seem to be able to escape feeling that I'm damaged goods and the fear others installed in me.

I have learnt enough from others to know how to mask/mimic there behaviour when there in conversation objectifying others. But it still doesn't make sense to me.

Where as seeing other people passing by I don't see them as sexual objects.
I will notice the person that looks to be having a hard day.
I will appreciate how someones style with there selected complimentary clothing.
Anothers genuine smile.

IRL I'm not actually that horny when around others. I seem to be more intent on understanding others and how to get along with them.
It is very confusing to me when I am with people thst start objectifying other people and descussing how much they'd want to fuck them.

While I have a set of biological giblets I don't feel a wholly specific attachment to gender. I seem to drift between states of "it is of no consequence" and state of "simultaneously feminine and masculine".

I don't know if I am finding the right way to describe this.

I actually find gender confusing. The more I think about it and how people try to apply specific trates to gender role labels the more it seems to break down. I seem to see these things as more of a kaleidoscope. No one trate is specifically tied to a gender role.

"Even"

flaming autocorrect

Somehow I always seem to be treated differently. Every to the point of people coming up to me and saying that I am different to everyone else. But they can never say why.

I'm just me.

I'm up to five that are representative of varying aspects of myself. Although one of them I consider to be the representative of the whole. I frequently imagine myself as being the form of that sona to re-center and ground myself.

Happy birthday

#15sketch

scars

While we may see the physical scars we do not know what truly lays beneath them. There for we can not read into them there meaning. Only the person that wears them knows this and we can not demand this of them. But we can be there to listen if they wish to speak.

There is no medicine or bandage I can put on it within me.
It takes a lot of effort and resolve to tell myself that it is an inappropriate response to manifest it physically on myself.
How do I overcome the darkness of the shadows that others have installed in me?

I don't know how to use my vocabulary to describe the dark edifice that comes from having to cruch everything down inside me just to try and get by each day. As it boils away inside of me occasionally it spills over burning me from within.

Having difficulty with invasive thoughts again.
There are stress factors lapping at the shaws of overwhelming me.
With my body and mind is so rigged to operate on defence mode the whole fucking time. It is hard to keep it from reacting to absolutely everything as an assault.

It is hard for me to speak. The abuse has left me too conditioned to being muted. Keeping it all inside just builds up so much.
But it's starting to look like there are people in this world who would like to take this little space from me as well and keep me mute.

Afraid to say anything because fear of further retribution.
Afraid to say anything because fear of causing upset for others.
Afraid to say anything because fear of drawing attention.
Afraid to say anything because fear of being blamed.
Afraid to sat anything because fear of being shut down.

The main reason for me creating this account is to have somewhere for me to be able to say the things I keep locked away inside.
I'm still trying to learn how to manage the lingering effects of long term abuse and SA has had on me. Also the inappropriate coping mechanisms I turn to in desperation.

An old artwork I made during 2022. I don’t think I ever posted it here.

See tits, post tits 🍎🍎

Honey seems confused as to why you are staring? 🦊⭐

Another style render study from today, pretty happy with how these feel/look