Brian Allen
@allenanalysis.bsky.social
🚨 BREAKING: #ICE DETAINED OGLALA SIOUX TRIBAL MEMBERS IN #MINNEAPOLIS, AND NOW 3 ARE MISSING
“There is nobody more #American than American Indians. We are America. How can you possibly target Native Americans? It’s legally impossible.”
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💀 Hannity: “When did you notice Biden’s cognitive decline?”
Miller: “Probably around all the times Trump fell asleep in public and rambled about magnets getting wet.”
😂🔥
Absolutely!
Shane Gillis nails it: immigration is serious policy, not content.
If you have to turn deportations into jokes and TikToks, you’re admitting you can’t defend what you’re doing on the merits.
Serious governments don’t need punchlines.
JD Vance says fewer undocumented immigrants means Americans can finally afford homes.
So which is it?
They “don’t work” and “live on welfare” — or they’re somehow buying up all the houses?
Pick a lie.
Jennifer Welch nails it:
“Republicans have convinced people that needing help makes you lazy, when the real parasites in this country are the billionaires.”
Decades of propaganda so workers fight each other while the wealth gets vacuumed upward.
🚨 The U.S. tried marking a Mexican beach as a “restricted area” under DoD authority.
Mexican Marines promptly ripped the signs out of the sand and tossed them.
A reminder: other countries don’t take kindly to American occupation cosplay.
😂 WANDA SYKES AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES, TO BILL MAHER’S FACE:
“Bill Maher, you give us so much… but I would love a little less. Just try less.”
Absolutely surgical. No notes.
He dropped out.
@allenanalysis.bsky.social
Tim #Walz, speaking on video:
“I don’t want to mince words. Donald #Trump and his allies in #Washington, in St. Paul, and online want to make our state a colder, meaner place. They want to poison our people against each other by attacking our neighbors.”
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Venezuela’s ambassador delivers a blunt charge:
The United States carried out an illegitimate attack with no legal justification — bombing Venezuelan territory, killing civilians and military personnel, and kidnapping the president.
That’s the accusation on the record.
🚨 BREAKING: Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz is likely to announce tomorrow that he will drop out of the 2026 governor’s race, according to a WCCO political analyst report. 
This comes amid intense criticism over ongoing fraud scandals in the state and growing calls from GOP leaders for him to step aside.
Tucker Carlson is now openly praising Nicolás Maduro.
“Whatever his faults… Venezuela has banned pornography, abortion, gay marriage, sex changes, and usury.”
So to be clear: a U.S. media figure is holding up an authoritarian strongman as a moral model, right as the U.S. bombs his country.
Nine months before the 2024 election, Trump openly said he wanted Venezuela to collapse so the U.S. could take its oil.
Now, on the first days of 2026, Caracas is being bombed.
This was never about drugs.
It was never about security.
It was always about oil.
🚨 CONFIRMED: Donald Trump has officially ordered U.S. airstrikes on targets inside Venezuela, including military facilities, according to U.S. officials.
The “no new wars” promise is officially dead.
BREAKING: Venezuelan state media claims President Nicolás Maduro has declared a state of emergency and urged the public to mobilize against the United States.
🚨 JUST IN: CBS reports that Donald Trump has ordered U.S. special operations forces to deploy to Venezuela to secure military facilities.
If confirmed, this is a major escalation, boots on the ground, not rhetoric.
BREAKING: Stephen Schwartz, the composer of Wicked, just pulled out of hosting a Kennedy Center gala because of Trump’s involvement.
Trump isn’t defending American culture.
He’s hollowing it out.
Bernie Sanders says it plainly: asking billionaires and giant corporations to pay what they owe isn’t “radical” — it’s basic fairness.
The crowd knew it. Chanted it.
Tax the rich.
That’s the bare minimum for a functioning society.
Chip Roy accidentally told the truth:
“When people start saying maybe we should fire all 435 members of the House and all 100 Senators, it’s because Congress is literally failing the American people.”
That’s the sound of an institution rotting in public while cashing the checks.
BREAKING
Drugmakers are raising U.S. prices on 350+ medicines starting Jan. 1, 2026 — despite White House pressure to cut costs.
🚨 BREAKING: Donald Trump says bruising on his hands is from taking high doses of aspirin, claiming it’s to prevent his blood from becoming “too thick” as it flows through his heart.
AOC nailed it:
Zohran Mamdani just made history, first Muslim mayor, first immigrant mayor in over a century, youngest NYC mayor in generations.
But here’s the part that matters most: he’s running to govern for everyone, not just one base.
That’s what real representation looks like.
AOC welcoming history in real time:
Zohran Mamdani is now NYC’s mayor, the first Muslim mayor, the first immigrant in over a century, and the youngest in generations.
A new chapter for New York. A mayor for all of us.
Marjorie Taylor Greene accidentally told the truth on live TV.
She admitted Republicans have no healthcare plan, mocked the secrecy around it, and called that failure out herself.
When even MTG is saying the quiet part out loud, you know the cupboard is empty.
Gavin Newsom, without blinking:
“He wants a Nobel Peace Prize while deploying Marines against his own people?”
Let that sink in. Donald Trump didn’t bring peace. He brought the battlefield home.
U.S. troops in U.S. cities.
That is not leadership. That is escalation.
“Elon Musk isn’t a scientist. He’s a billionaire con man with a checkbook.” — AOC
And she’s right. Buying engineers doesn’t make you one. It just makes you rich enough to cosplay genius while other people do the work.
We all know Scott Bessent has lost a few screws, but I’ll never forget when he claimed beef prices are high because immigrants are smuggling diseased cattle from South America across the border.
When you run out of economic arguments, you start inventing barnyard fan fiction.
🚨 NO WAY — HELL JUST FROZE OVER:
Ben Shapiro just told Matt Walsh and the Right that you won’t survive if you refuse to police your own extremists.
He never showed. He never answered.
House Democrats formally asked Prince Andrew to sit for questioning over his ties to Jeffrey Epstein. He ignored it. No response. No cooperation. No accountability.
That’s not innocence. That’s evasion from a man who knows exactly what questions are coming.
