Jeff Strand

I’m seeing GOOD BOY instead…but what a world!!!

Good doggie!!!

My new buddy.

It’s behind me, isn’t it?

AUTHOR: In my new novel, this dude who changed the Department of Defense to the Department of War is pissy that he didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize!

EDITOR: Get the hell out of here until you learn how to write plausible fiction.

Bridgett Nelson’s new tattoo. We’ve entered the “No Returns” phase of our relationship.

My new arm!

Oh, crap, what’s this…?

Visiting my publisher! Unless they call security.

Bridgett Nelson suggested that it may be time for a new wallet.

I only dine at the classiest joints!

I’ve considered it, yeah.

He’s not for sale. The shipping cost would be way too high.

I think the original TRON was my first experience with a movie that looked amazing from the trailer but was, in fact, really boring.

Look, a lot of horror authors are going to try to get you to read their books this Halloween season, but they don't care about you the way I do. Listen to your heart, and make it a Strand-o-Ween! 🎃

Somebody has to say it: I just don't think Trump is going to get around to the whole "pivot to presidential behavior" thing.

That glorious feeling when edits for your book are accompanied by the message, "You have issues, my friend."

Mildly concerned that now there isn't anybody to control Jane Goodall's chimpanzee army.

TEACHER: Because Congress was unable to work out a deal, hundreds of thousands of federal workers won't get paid.

STUDENT: That includes members of Congress, right?

TEACHER: LOL you dumbass kid.

If I ever write a book called PRAY FOR DAWN, I’ll keep this offer in mind.

"In my military, there will be no fat troops, men in dresses, or competent leadership!" -- Pete Hegseth

Bloodsucker County Bloodsucker County - Kindle edition by Strand, Jeff. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Bloodsucker County.

Today is the last day BLOODSUCKER COUNTY is a Kindle Monthly Deal! Don't dilly-dally or lollygag--get it NOW! www.amazon.com/Bloodsucker-...

You made it through the last month of the real world, so I'm sure you can handle my latest novel! www.amazon.com/Your-Body-Wi...

Raising her right!!!

Finders Keepers (Eek!) Finders Keepers (Eek!) [Strand, Jeff] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Finders Keepers (Eek!)

I have no idea why, but the hardcover edition of my novel FINDERS KEEPERS is only $5.20 (!) on Amazon. Order now before they fix it! www.amazon.com/Finders-Keep...

Bloodsucker County Bloodsucker County - Kindle edition by Strand, Jeff. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Bloodsucker County.

There's not much September left, and next month BLOODSUCKER COUNTY will be crawling back to its original price! www.amazon.com/Bloodsucker-...

I’d only ever watched one episode of Jimmy Kimmel. Thanks to Trump and his FCC thug, I’ve now watched two. Nice going, dumbass!

To clear up a common misconception: You can still go to Heaven if you read my books, as long as you cluck your tongue in disapproval while you're doing it.

It's official. Angus Gelbert, 72, of Aberdeen, South Dakota got raptured today. Everybody else failed to qualify.

Whoa, I forgot that today is the Rapt