JoeyADM

Is it creepy that I cyber-sleuth every guy on dating apps I’m interested in before sending a like? Sure. But in my defense, my research has uncovered mugshots, transphobic tirades, suspicious voting records, and more. So I’d argue, I’m simply protecting myself, and everyone should do the same.

One trait that’s seemingly unique to only me is, when I’m on the sidewalk, I move over for others.

By some miracle, BOTH my flights to and from Chicago this weekend were auto-upgraded to first class. My fellow paupers are going to feel so happy and inspired when they walk past me into economy. If it can happen for me, it can one day happen for them too.

Another summer where I remain the undisputed best bodysurfer along the Jersey shore. No one is out there catching as many waves, as big (or small) as I catch, and riding them to shore as far as I do. Sign up for my master class.

The spatial awareness of bennys is truly incomprehensible. Why are you sitting in my lap, when there are yards of open beach available away from me?

I don’t have the face shape of someone who looks good in sunglasses, so I often have to decide between nerfing my sight stats or appearance stats.

I wish my skin always glowed with the radiance of freshly applied sunscreen.

It is SO important to have multiple dipping sauces and rotate between them with each bite.

Month 7 - January | August

The real issue plaguing corporate culture is that it’s acceptable for women to wear sleeveless shirts and show their legs, but men can’t.

One of my team members asked if she can take off tomorrow to take her son to see Fantastic Four. To be clear, I NEVER ask/expect anyone to explain why they wanna take off - I will always approve it. But if anyone was going to approve of that reason in particular, she knew it was me.

CT and Diem was the greatest love story ever told.

If I was on ANTM, I’d absolutely get lost on the way to go-sees and be disqualified from the challenge.

“You look tired today.”

Uh yea, and you’d look tired today too if you were up until 2am teaching yourself the Gnarly choreography…

There’s nothing I hate more than when someone says, “there’s no such thing as a dumb question.” There absolutely is, and I’ve heard a lot of them.

A friend once showed me a photo of her wedding dress, and asked for my opinion. To which I gave a disgusted look, and told her she can’t be serious.

She wasn’t. It was a joke she was playing on her family and friends. Except I was the ONLY person who was honest with her. BECAUSE I’M A REAL FRIEND.

Journeying back to Jersey.

After six years of friendship, finally united with @timbuk2.bsky.social.

The Fourth of July now marks my first ever visit to a gay beach.

It’s Bean a long time coming. @chrispassgo.bsky.social

Arrived at exotic Chicago for a four-day cultural immersion.

Month 6 - January | July

(okay, half the year in. while I’m definitely plateauing and need to switch things up, i don’t think photos do the progress i see IRL much justice. to be continued…)

There’s nothing I hate more than when online chat agents send emojis. Stop smiling at me.

Make that every day for half a year.

You know that statistic that says the likelihood of finding a missing person after 48 hours is only x%? I need that, but for the likelihood of someone matching back on a dating app after 48 hours.

Is there any other option?

It happened. My second worst fear. I went to shake an executive’s hand with a professional handshake (because why would we do anything else???) and then he switched it to a fist bump mid-journey, and after an awkward collision, I went to change to a fist, and he changed to a dap. It was horrendous.

“And how does this support your study of Cardi B?” I asked as the Cardiologist placed EKG nodes across my body.

Teachers filming their students (or even just themselves during class hours) for TikTok content is very weird.