AgedSnowflake

You're not wrong with that.
It still feels so wrong to try to convince someone to believe in 'life is good' etc.
While sitting here and believing the complete opposite

I feel like a hypocrite because I told my parent in the hospital that giving up is never an option.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting here basically giving up

Guys, I'm so incredibly sad and I don't even know why

And I feel like I can't tell anyone about it because all of this is just such a big ass burden

And I feel like the day where I just do something that might end me because it gets worse is getting closer every day

And I got these chew tobacco stuff that actually kind of helps. It makes my brain feel a bit foggy, but I can still go on with my normal life, unlike when I'm drunk.
But in the end, I still have all the bad thoughts.
And sometimes they get so bad that not even these help

And the thoughts are just not going away anymore.
Like I try everything (semi) healthy to cope with my current situation.
I try to do things that I enjoy, but I can't even concentrate on these things anymore.

.

Tw sui, sh

I have such a strong urge to do something stupid because I'm just so overwhelmed

I haven't eaten a lot in the past few weeks because I'm struggling with my money at the moment.
But I can feel how my body slowly surrenders to it. But I feel like I can't do anything about it because I need the money for my rent

.

Tw ed

As far as I've recognized, they don't march that often anymore after the basic training. Just once in a while in their morning PT

+ I always thought it's normal to dive at least a bit into the interests/topics your partner is into.
It makes it so much easier to understand people. But I guess that's just my opinion as a sociologist

But I'm not interested in that because of my bf. Actually, I did all the research long before I met someone from the military.

But sometimes, I ask myself if I'd weird out the other mil gfs because I'm that much into the military thing.
The thing is, I already did a lot of research about the US military because of university. I actually think about writing my thesis about it

Don't worry about it too much! I'm sure he's gonna be super thankful that you're helping him out

Like, don't take life too seriously

And especially with medicine. I know about friend who got saved because of some (definitely legal) sharing of medicine

I try to be a lawful good, too. But I won't lie, I broke some laws too in the past. I think it depends. As long as you don't hurt anybody else, it's fine to do it sometimes

Another funfact: I also marched with my bf when we joined the romantic night walk of my sister and her bf on Christmas.
And honestly, it's funny to do that kind of stuff from time to time.
But I found out that this is not that funny to the gfs I got to know in the military. I'm not sure why though

The fun part is that she can't speak English and he can't speak Russian. Somehow, they still managed to do it perfectly

Throwback to the day when my mother and my bf did a march in the hospital 💀
Back in the Soviet times, she needed to march for hours every day. Apparently, she's still good at it.
Military bonding or something

Definitely a mix of 🦋🌩

AN DIE DEUTSCHEN, GEHT WÄHLEN UND WÄHLT LINKS BITTE 😭

I'm so sorry for you 🫂

Fun fact: I already have a name tag with my name written wrong. When I started university, we had these introduction events.
I just popped that thing on my shelf because it was a fun night, and I wanted to remember it

I feel so sorry for you 💀

And I think he didn't even realize because everybody knows me by my nickname