🛵

like i ALWAYS know im gonna throw up a shit ton, not sleep right bc my heart rate will go insane, be sweaty/clammy for hours, fall back asleep for an hour or two and the gagging/throwing up continues every hour on the dot

im a big girl so why do i think its a good idea to drink and smoke on an empty stomach

i feel so disgusting i hate when i get like this

had such an interesting dream that i dont want to forget for some reason. like it could be a movie if i wanted

i helped jinyoung find his backbone and everything 💔💔

i should not be awake rn but id just like to say that i dreamt of baby got7 and us being besties, i MISS them

like this guy wasnt even physically threatening to a normal person. but /I/ knew he was. and no one would believe me or understand. he may have been smaller than me but he was terrifying. a psychotic guy who had no sense of remorse or boundaries in any capacity whatsoever

i also just remembered a conversation i had with my sister in law yesterday and issues i had to deal with at work so maybe that is what triggered the dream :/

i cant help but think that that must be the way people being stalked and threatened must constantly feel like

end well. part of me hoped that maybe , just maybe, it would turn out okay that time

i was so fearful and anxious the whole dream. constantly trying to run away but he always found me.. at one point i gave up trying to live a normal life because i knew he'd always be there. i knew no one would be able to help me but i always hoped someone would step in. even if i knew it wouldnt

trust me, i think i made the same exact mistake with cst and google. i now just rely on the world clock on our iphones :')

like ok, yes i like yandere games but i literally havent played any in awhile and there was nothing i watched or participated in yesterday that prompted me to even think abt yandere games???

THEY USE AI ! OFC THEYRE WRONG!!!!

i had such an anxiety inducing dream and it literally made 0 sense as to why it was that way. like ok i was warm and i fell asleep after already waking up once, okay yes a nightmare sure whatever. but one where a guy is stalking me and killing people if they get in his way of being with me???

mst is us charles 😭 mountain standard time , so yes its in an hour 😭

SYLUS SAYING "im worried about you" WHILE BEATING ME 3 TIMES IN A ROW! YEAH MF YOU SHOULD BE IM ON MY LAST STRAW

having to drop 300 on my car while i was getting my ass beat during kitty cards against fictional men im actually gonna kms

yeahhh i think i underestimated just how much i'd have to do this last week being here . but we live !

ty but i'll be okay! i just need to sleep mostly, but have to pack more. so maybe i'll nap after my appointment here and then start packing again after my weekly bg3 session with the guys

also forgot to take my meds another 2 days in a row again! rip!

i have to keep reminding myself that its okay, im okay, and that this is all for the betterment of my life 🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️

but i cant even cry and dip bc IM waiting for like an hour or longer and my old coworker is here and she is one of those people you do NOT want to cry in front of

anyways i want to crash out so bad rn bc im so tired, overstimulated, disappointed, insecure abt my career and professional abilities even tho i know i'd be amazing at anything i put my mind to and now i just want to cry at this car dealership

i forgot i had this account OOPS

thank god u and i do not work together

wait include me in this too pls ...

gimme

maybe make a dif account? or purge main?