Chrissy

The place where I got my wedding dress fitted is a donut shop now, and I think that’s beautiful.

My Bluesky feed almost immediately became impossible to rid of political doom and gloom. No matter how many times I click “show less like this” and how many meme aggregator accounts I block, it keeps popping back up like the fucking onion grass in my yard. Social media is so over.

Why would you make your narrator unreliable. I trusted you and purchased this book and this is how you repay me

I’ve been unmoored ever since the property brothers switched which one of them had a beard.

the way Alan Cumming looked straight at the camera and said “all male” in pure disgust, I felt that

#TheTraitorsUS

YouTube video by Ryan Carroccino Company 2007 Tony Performance: Being Alive

I fear there are still people out there who don’t know that ADA Barba is actually Broadway powerhouse Raul Esparza youtu.be/j8kYfPoHyos?...

Popping your Bluesky 🍒

Putting my baby to bed so I can get back to reading Fourth Wing

I live in constant fear that I’m going to lose an AirPod to an auto-flush toilet

I just want to read Fourth Wing and drink an irresponsibly large cherry mocha but I have a baby napping on me while my toddler inexplicably repeats “I need something.”

Also Starbucks cruelly discontinued the cherry mocha like seven years ago.

I’m really about to start referring to two of my closest friends (who don’t know each other, but have the same name) by their last initial.

got me and my wifes anniverseary mixed up with 9/11 again. in my defense the numbers are kind o f close together. "Im sorry Toots"

#TheTraitorsUS

Tweet from furby Hancock: Waiter: so how is everything? Me: great! Waiter: (disgusted) even war?

being on bluesky

A screenshot of a New York Times update that says: In Grand Central Terminal, Leon Chang, 26, of Brooklyn, said he had not heard of congestion pricing and asked what it was. When explained it was a toll for cars entering Manhattan, he then asked “What do you mean? What is a car?” Walking outside, we showed him a vehicle parked on the street. He gently touched the hood of the car. “You wish to forbid these majestic beasts from entering the city,” he said in a wistful tone. “It is a folly of man. The desire to tame the world around us.”

where does the new york times even find these people

(My husband leaves the room for 10 seconds)
Me: …
Me: …
Me: …
Me: SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKYYYYYY

I wish Little Nero’s pizza was real.

Why does Jeff pronounce "tiramisu" like he's only seen the word written his whole life and is saying it for the first time? #Survivor47

It’s the holiday season which means it’s time for my annual tradition of googling “how to block Apple Music from playing Pentatonix”

1st Place feels so good 😎

But wait, what DID make the triceratops sick!?! It wasn’t the West Indian lilac…

*bonk* off to horny jail for you!

A miracle! A LITERAL MIRACLE!!! I’d just…. I’d like to thank so many people for making this possible. My baby, for sleeping. My toddler, for sleeping. My husband, for sleeping on the floor all night…

THIS IS A SOL STAN ACCOUNT I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE

all this talk about COMMUNITY on #survivor and Sol is over there in the jury like this

Sol soaking wet in a vest on the jury bench

“You better not be soaking wet stunting looks in a vest when I get there” #Survivor

Me:

Lighting a prayer candle for Dead Meat to get on Bluesky 🕯️ 🙏 (I love you James A. Janisse)

Oh my GOD, Damar 😱😅😅

My. Kids. Won’t. Fucking. Sleep.