Matthew Lyons

Matthew Lyons

@cannibalghosts.bsky.social

Horror novelist. Monster Mash enthusiast. 🏳️‍🌈

598 Followers 79 Following 49 Posts Joined Aug 2023
3 weeks ago
Preview
Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew WASHINGTON—Exhausted from repeated efforts to explain the most basic aspect of political power, an aide to President Trump nevertheless began wearily explaining for the fifth time Friday why he couldn...

“I know Andrew is a good man who’s been treated terribly, but you remember when we learned a few minutes ago that England and the United States are two different countries?” said Senior Advisor Gerald Donovan

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3 weeks ago

the quiet panic of being a novelist with an em-dash tattoo in the age of chatgpt

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2 months ago
A SKELATIN CHANNELIN DA TRUTH'S OF DA UNIVERSE!!!! FUCK ALL COPS FUCK ALL BOSSES!!! A COP IS A FORM OF BOSS! A BOSS IS A FORM OF COP! LET THE MEMORY OF NO OPPRESSOR GO UNSPAT UPON!!!!! RETWEET THIS WHILE ITS STILL LEGAL!!!! RETWEET IT ON BLUE SKY YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

FUCK EMM - dashare.zone ADMIN

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2 months ago

As always, and until the end of fucking time, wake me when it sticks

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4 months ago


Nick Pettigrew
@Nick_Pettigrew
Polio was eradicated because Jonas Salk chose not to patent the vaccine, if you want a perfect example of a socialist act.
Quote

Garry Kasparov
@Kasparov63
·
Jun 24
Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

REMINDER: A socialist act by a New Yorker was a major reason why polio was eliminated in the US.

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4 months ago
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I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

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4 months ago

There are people who will probably tell you not to gloat today but I am petty and spiteful and I will absolutely gloat because fascists are weird freaks who deserve to be shamed.

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4 months ago
Photo of NBC’s exit poll data (from my work laptop, lol) showing Mamdani splitting the straight vote equally with Cuomo, but taking the LGBTQ+ vote by more than 5:1. Even though the LGBTQ+ slice is only 14% of the population, they were a LANDSLIDE in his favor.

This needs more attention: Zohran SPLIT the straights with Cuomo. ALL of his margin was from LGBTQ+ voters. Every Dem who ever said “we should abandon the transes” needs this shoved down their fucking throat with a ramrod.

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5 months ago

Hey, thank you so much! I'm super stoked you dug it.

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6 months ago

- you clean up that banksy?
- sure did, your honour, leaving a perfect, permanent outline, imbuing the work with real fuckin gravitas while making its point better than the artist did himself just like you asked

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6 months ago

I will not waste a moment grieving for someone who wanted my loved ones dead, thanks

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6 months ago

Will be interesting to see which news outlets omit his years of violent white nationalism. I'm guessing practically every single one.

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6 months ago
an assortment of horror books on a carpeted floor

new & restocked horror now available at b&n sioux falls!

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6 months ago
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A couple books that have risen from the grave and made their way into our inbox! #Wyndclyffe #AMaskofFlies #Artifact from
@joehart1.bsky.social @cannibalghosts.bsky.social @torbooks @jrobinsonauthor.bsky.social

Go to linktr.ee/locusmagazine for all things new in the horror genre!
Link in bio

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6 months ago
In a desolate plain, fallen and kneeling men impaled in the back with knives, seem to worship in adulation a giant floating kitchen knife.

Apotheosis of the Knife

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6 months ago

The announcer declares “welcome to San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley” as the lady struggles & can’t get the self checkout machine to work for a customer.

She sees me, I use cash, & am done in 2 seconds.

Techbros have made the world a worse place & sold you on lies.

& they hate artists.

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7 months ago

Denver and surrounding area, come celebrate the launch of THIS IS MY BODY with @rachelfeder.bsky.social and @cannibalghosts.bsky.social and @mariaabrams.bsky.social and me!

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9 months ago

yknow, after a week and a half on the salmonella-cucumber hellcoaster, I'd really fuckin like to get off the ride already

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9 months ago

Democrats… learn something from this

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9 months ago

It takes a super genius in business to look at the Forbes Contributor pages and ChatGPT slop full of hallucinations and go: "Our well respected newspaper should stop being a well respected newspaper and instead be like those two things"

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9 months ago

Wow Bezos really did kill WaPo huh

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11 months ago
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right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk soul brother right about now the funk soul brother check it out now the funk sou

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9 months ago

Always loved that John Redcorn was a largely decent guy but realistically flawed on a show made in an era where Native depictions tended to be exoticized and one-dimensional even when they were positive

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9 months ago
Preview
MAGA Voter Assumed Trump Would Only Deport People On List She Mailed To White House SAN DIEGO—Shocked by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids affecting her very own community, local 43-year-old Jillian Beamer told reporters Monday she had assumed President Donald Trump would...

The Onion continues to be the most reliable source for your news.
theonion.com/maga-voter-a...

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9 months ago

Sex Criminal Andrew Cuomo: In Hindsight, I Should Have Gotten Away With It

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9 months ago

I’m not going to inflict an AI generated Calvin & Hobbes on you but I do want to say it should be legal for those responsible to be hunted for sport by Bill Watterson

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9 months ago

The New York Times: Whatever It Is, It's Complicated!™

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9 months ago

very in keeping with JF’s Whole Thing: doing the stupidest lowest-common-denominator shit imaginable while insisting he’s a heterodox truth teller

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9 months ago

I think at some point we have to stop indulging the fiction that conservatism is a legitimate political tendency and isn't simply a grievance cult for those who value the ability to enact cruelty over their literal basic needs.

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9 months ago

Family, this is not a big ask, and it's Pride month. I'd love to see some of our allies do the actual ally thing and help these two out. Donating directly will always do more good than giving to big orgs or politicians, and certainly more than supporting rainbow capitalism.

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