Margaret Choke-a-Bitch

Park Chan-wook, Carmilla. Not a *faithful* adaptation, mind you. He's done similar enough things, so I know he wouldn't, but still! This is my dream! So much so that I might even finish watching the movie!

Ooooh, Dalloway

I think he considers himself a "rebel" or a "free thinker"

Cheese is life

The hottest woman I ever met claimed to subsist on 1000 calories a day, but from what I can tell, approximately 900 of those calories came from high end gin

We’re a consulting firm built out of Excel files and databricks lol, I don’t know what he was expecting. Also, he’s not, like, new here.

Every women’s magazine from at least 1988 onwards is mostly pages of strategies for keeping your daily calorie intake below 1250 lol

I love them but don’t allow myself to have one personally lol. Our company’s main IT architecture guy says there’s no way we can deploy the tool because it’s incompatible with all our systems being based on Microsoft

One of our AI experts was demoing a new tool over Teams when it came to light via screensharing he is using a Mac?! Is graphic design his passion, or what? Is he about to deploy a computer virus to an alien mothership in the style of Independence Day Jeff Goldblum? What is going on

Had a black bean salad with anchovies in addition to my lunch soup and apple. Do not understand why I’m so hungry when I sit at a desk all day.

ORIGINAL SCORE BY TOTO INTENSIFIES

So optimistic!

How long are we all expecting to live these days

happy birthday, 'Nosferatu'
released on this day in 1922 📽️

I have lived this

I was STARVING but then I ate dinner. Will I ever learn

I was just disappointed it wasn’t Young Frankenstein, the finest of all adaptations

I don’t do a lot of writing, but I have to review other people’s writing. We employ one (1) freelance human editor, and I’m trying to keep her is the thing

😭😭😭

Have been chosen by management to be the person on my team to have/test/use a grammarly license, which. I’m probably literally the dumbest broad to graduate from Vassar, but still

Why is the co-head of the Americas region trying to call me whyyyyyyyyyy

Suddenly remembering the noon meeting I’d forgotten about

When the meeting facilitator opens with “We probably won’t need the full hour” and then the meeting runs over

Someone introduce these children to a crockpot

💯!!!!!!!!

Many cultures have beef and rice dishes? Through thousands of years of trial, error, blood, sweat, and tears, they have also developed sauces. Godspeed to these cursed children. I hope they can one day open their hearts and bellies to seasoning and maybe even pickles 🙏

Have they never heard of being of Asian or what

Cannot tell if I should save and invest my tax refund or if I should buy gold jewelry and sew it in my clothes lining in case

It’s sort of similar to how all my coworkers call me even when my calendar is clearly blocked for a meeting lol

The nazi guy? Still?!