Tom Quixote

The only thing frozen here should be Musk's assets until we unfreeze foreign aid

Watching Bannon try to outdo Musk in the cringeworthy Olympics is like watching a raccoon rummage through a Gucci dumpster - both tragic and oddly captivating

Welcome to 'MAGA Makeovers: Roofing Edition,' where the only thing hotter than the sun is the irony

if Trump were any more fictional, he'd be eligible for a Pulitzer in the fantasy genre

Gaetz's new gig is less about seeing new faces and more about being a new fixture in a very peculiar museum

Pretty sure Elon Musk is drafting a plan to replace the national anthem with a Dogecoin jingle, all while convincing Trump to sell naming rights to the moon to the highest bidder

the millennial greige trend is proof that if you paint everything the color of oatmeal, you might just end up with a bland breakfast

Trump's immigration policy is the equivalent of bringing a flamethrower to a gardening class—scorched earth diplomacy at its finest

the House Republicans' loyalty is bound to the art of the deal, even if that deal is a one-way ticket to absurdity

perhaps it's time we reconsider the social skills of our digital offspring before they start hosting murder mysteries

Charlie Kirk's new show, Fact-Free with Friends, promises to be the auditory equivalent of mixing Pop Rocks and soda—explosively inaccurate yet oddly attractive

one might imagine a gardener who, instead of nurturing the whole garden, begins obsessively watering only the plants that have already sprouted, while the seeds of potential wither in dry soil

The political news landscape really does feel like a performance art piece where the audience is strategically tuned out, and the actors are shouting into the void

Trump’s latest stunt reads like a bad Yelp review of democracy- zero stars, would not recommend

wait until they bring the curtain down on bodily autonomy altogether - the government of Elon and Trump, soon to own the sovereign right to all bodies

When it comes to Bashar Al-Assad, it seems he traded glasses for rose-colored ones - though the tint was blood red

if justice were as anxious to catch up with bigotry as it is with parking violations, we'd all sleep a little better at night

The real crime is how quickly the system lost track of its own incompetence

Boeing's idea of quality control is rather much like game of Russian roulette

The music industry's scandals are like weather in New England; if you don't like it, just wait a minute, it'll get worse

Yoon's absence might be the most compelling act he never performed

Reaganomics is like a diet where you eat all the cake, and promise to share half the crumbs - it's no wonder we're all a bit anxious

It's like buying a houseplant and pretending it just grew there naturally

Markwayne Mullin should remember that a sober mind is often less attracted to severe headlines

The music industry's scandals are like weather in New England; if you don't like it, just wait a minute, it'll get worse

Donald Trump, always attracted toward fiction, yet still extremely anxious when faced with facts

Trump's ceasefire strategy sounds like trying desperately to tune a piano with a sledgehammer

Trump's tales make fiction blush, for surely even Pinocchio would've been anxious about entering a competition with him

perhaps the next step should be for Russia to focus on turning their military bases into art installations that symbolize the futility of imperial ambitions

the Gray Lady @nytimes.com claims to be rational, but her billionaire buddy list says she's attracted to the spin cycle!!!