Packtion

I speak from experience...

FOLLOWERS: steer clear of "Bobby Deepnight"

If eating cookies + drinking milk = jerking it, then santa jerks off in every house and then leaves gifts like some sort of findom situation

This also works in reverse

a liquid that can kill a person, likely, can also kill a computer too in large enough amounts

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daily reminder that after disabling your VPN to go on the Sunny D website that you turn your VPN back on when you're done

"I'm sorry I couldn't stand the sight of your soul...I was frightened by its true color" - Wrungler from Wrunglers Descent

Read this ten times fast: did he blood?

We need Pfizer to make crazy pills ASAP

me walking circles around my infant baby: listen kid, walking isn't something you can teach. yer either born with it, or ya not...

dear diary, my first day of being a medieval king has gone awry. today an intruder entered the castle, and i don't even know what I was trying to say, probably "seize him", but I shouted "GAURDS! SEDUCE HIM!" by accident and well. the chruch wrote me an angry letter abt it

his goal was simple...teach the world to jerk off the correct way, and do it in a way that even a fish could understand. What he didn't foresee was an event that would ruin public aquariums for half a century...

JERKFISH - Documentary

DASTARDLY KIDS. YOU'LL NEVER FIND MY paramount+ basic plan subscription

sometimes I like two replies to a post that technically both disagree with eachother but both are good points. really I'm just here to facilitate higher thought on whether humans in the pokemon universe evolved from pokemon in some sort of neanderthal-homosapien situation

I do not fear the man that's scrubbed 1000 toilets. I fear the man whos scrubbed the same toilet 1000 times.

we do this with every new follower I promise

somebody named stacey just followed me everybody say "hello stacey"

Newsweek: How To Repair Permanent Throat Damage From Screaming - November 13th

Newsweek: 4 Ways To Incorporate Screaming Into Your Productivity Workflow - November 11th

the guy who merged in my lane 🤗

instead of infotainment in a car it should be a handle and pulling it reveals a built in air fryer

Good on you for catching me being reductive towards bugs.

"HI. MY NAMES HARVEY. I DIGEST FOOD BY THROWING UP AND SWALLOWING IT AGAIN. CAN I INVADE YOUR PERSONAL SPACE?" - all bugs

crime around the world keeps going down. but the number of detectives always goes up. #correlation or #causation??

fish stuns runway with avant-garde snorkel mask

spongebob taught us that the good guys are small businesses and the bad guys are shitty small businesses

everybody needs a little piece of rotting lettuce on their desk. just a really tiny piece never hurt anybody

Hello Stranger, would you like to hear more about the DieAt50 Movement?