Luprand

Careful, they're gonna want out soon ...

Yakusoku (約束) - promise
Shoku (食) - eating (as in 食堂 / shokudō, dining hall)
Therefore, yakushoku - a promise of a good meal.

Reminds me of the time I went for an eye exam and the optometrist blurted out, "You have the palest retinas I've ever seen."

... like ... thanks?

"Do you really believe yourself worthy to soil my dagger?"

So yeah. "Try to get physical and I will break you like a horse."

Say whatever else you will about Wu Zetian, that was a hell of a speech.

"I was a lady in waiting at the time, and I told him I only needed three things to subdue the horse: a riding crop, an iron hammer, and a dagger. If it did not submit when I whipped it with the crop, I would stun it with the hammer, and if it still resisted, I would slit its throat."

It gets better in context: she was cussing out Chancellor Ji Xu, who had used physical intimidation to win an argument with an imperial relative.

Her rebuke was, roughly, "My late father-in-law, Emperor Taizong, had a horse named Lion Stallion. It was so big and strong that none could ride it."

As far as taunts go, Empress Wu Zetian (624-705)'s line "Do you really believe yourself worthy to soil my dagger?" ranks pretty high.

Handsome!

Thanks!

An anthropomorphic canine with pale blue fur and shimmering wing-like patterns on his body. He has dirty blond hair and glowing blue eyes. He has a deep blue linen kilt around his waist. He stands in the middle of a crystal canyon, leaning against an outcropping of the material and looking up at the sky in awe. A wooden staff lies on the ground beside him. Reflections of his body are visible in the crystals near him. Where his hand rests on the crystal, it turns to opaque rock instead.

Infused more gently with the power of the Eight, Justin awoke in a world that had very much changed ...

Hehee, the Buc-ee logo.

A photo of a fallen lamppost, the detached light still shining on the cold dark grass.

Mr. Tumnus, noooooo

For context, here's the layout with regular text.

I set my phone to display bold text for ease of reading, but it affects the layout on a number of apps.

Hold on tight ..!

A heating pad, Tanner. A heating pad.

B on the streets, A in the sheets.

"Lick the Cook," aye! Like those "Kiss the Cook" aprons, but werewolfy. :3

"I was a young fool back then, haha. People all called me ... what was it ... Oh yeah! The Big Red Bother! Something like that, anyway."

A picture of a very fat werewolf standing at a barbecue grill under the full moon, turning to call out that the steaks he's grilling are ready to eat. In the foreground, a hand holds up a smartphone with a web page loaded of an art gallery, showing that same werewolf several hundred years prior, muscular and vigorous, striking the same pose as he brandishes a battle axe and howls at the moon.

"Hey, uh, Lars? ... Did you ever live in Finland?"
"About three hundred years ago, yeah. Why do you ask?"
Befriending an ancient dadwolf can be a journey of discovery sometimes.

Oh, I will be crushed on the surface for certain!

Oh my ... the bed gravity is real.

Cuuuuute

My, what perky low pressure systems you have.

Had to buy a new phone because the old one was incompatible with the 2FA app at work.
Poor thing served me for six years, but in the end I suppose we are all merely as blossoms on the wind, tears in the rain, toddlers at a Denny's ...

🎶

It's like if a story had a pet canary wagging its tail for joy.

Anyway, I'm really fun at parties.

He can still sit on the stump when he gets old, though, right?

... I mean, if he wants to one-cheek it, he's welcome to try, but I probably wouldn't.

I know, I know, it's an allegory for loving kindness, but once you notice the inaccuracy, it's a little jarring, you know?

An apple tree, and a vase made from apple wood.

You'll notice that the branches aren't going to build much of a house. The trunk won't do too well as a boat, either. Applewood doesn't resist rot very well. It's mostly used for small furniture, decorations, and meat smokers.

Alas, bacon isn't all that seaworthy either.

Crabapples.

Well, what if it's a wild apple tree, or a ... feral(?) one?
Then the fruit it gives the boy probably isn't going to sell all that well. I guess there are niche uses for crabapples and the like, but maybe not enough to bankroll his reckless youth.
(🎨 pixabay . com)