Bong Joon Heaux

BREAKING NEWS: Ser Duncan the Tall has recited the Shahada

Tiktok glitched as I was watching an edit of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, so mid-montage it cut to the next tiktok, showing the Kaaba, and I was like man I do NOT know what's going on this show dude

First superbowl halftime show I've seen where I was like, "wow the direction is incredible"

Every time I watch a movie with no romance I'm like, what gives? The characters should have kissed. 2 stars. Of course, every time I see a movie with a romance I'm like, I didn't need or want that, actually, excessive and roped in. 2 stars

If they wanted to make the Slack emoji reacts truly accurate they should include ones of people who are NOT going to kill themselves but are increasingly *thinking* about it as their miserable work day at this godawful company continues, like so. I would feel represented, at least

I'm usually on the "fighting in the Not That Deep wars in the side of It's That Deep" but all my coworkers across the racial spectrum are very careful about making sure their emoji reacts on slack match their irl skin tones and I feel insane for being like. This is not that serious

The loss of pirating/archive sites are always easier to bear for people who've no interest in obscure or older titles and can't imagine the existence of a thriving community of audience members who aren't exclusively reading Barnes & Noble Special Edition Hardcovers and whatnot

It's like. I'm literally validating your opinion!! Why are you upset!!

The people who are quickest to talk about humanity being a bunch of assholes doing asshole shit for no reason also seem, nevertheless, disproportionately upset when they're blocked or told to shut the fuck up. Like this is fitting your worldview why are you surprised

As far as I can tell Stranger Things pissing off the yet-uncynical fanbase using queerbaiting is part of a long and storied cultural tradition. "Why would they set up all this only to end it like THAT, surely this has to be a mistake?" is the sound of a torch being passed on, imo

THEY WERE SAY RUGELACH I MISSED OUT ON AN ENTIRE BOX OF RUGELACH AAAUGH

And I've been like "I don't dislike it! I just don't want any? I've eaten it before and liked it, I just don't get how it's so appealing that you keep eating it but I'm not judging, I just don't want to partake"

I'm gonna fucking scream, all day my partner has been like "We have arugula! Do you want some arugula? I think I'll have some arugula. What's with you, do you not like arugula? How can you not like arugula?"

Saw a clip from The Music Man (1962) and was like "Oh my God! That's the dance from Family Guy Immaterial - SOPHIE" only to quickly do a series of backwards deductions and go "Ohhhh wait yeah"

I will spend 2026 training so that this never happens again

We have two tubs of leftovers I've failed not only them but myself

Halfway through round 2 I was like "I can't. I'm sorry. I'm weak, leave me behind" and they were like "YOU PROMISED YOU'D HAVE MY BACK. DON'T LEAVE ME"

We got this 3 course barbecue dinner at a Korean restaurant and after round 1 I was like "Oh my God. I think I'm full" and they were like "NO. YOU PROMISED. STAY STRONG"

Partner and I took a bus to the restaurant and it stopped in front of their office building. I was like, "Get up! It's time to work! It was all a dream, silly, it's January 2nd!" But unfortunately they BOLTED upright at "Get up it's time to work" and glared at me for 2 stops 😭😭😭

Stupid for multiple reasons, the least of which is they have completely fucked up my ability to plan a visit to a pirate museum with my friends!!

For some reason voice chat cuts off every time I say the word "pirate" (LIKE, 90% OF THE TIME??) so I keep having to say shit like "Oceanic rapscallion" and "Marine scoundrel" when talking about the pirate museum

It was a nightmare trying to tell this joke to my partner it was like

Me: Did you [wheezing laughter]

Them:

Me: Did you he[wheeze]

Them:

Me: Th-this, Australian-- wait [wheeze] no

Them: Take your time

Me: This CANADIAN, this guy [wheeze] at the airport [cackling]

Them: [checking watch]

Aww fuck, did you guys hear about the Canadian guy who died at the airport? I heard it was Terminal, A

(That being said: It is funny watching conservatives try to pull this themselves because they have such a wildly limited understanding of what the typical ""left-leaning"" argument is like. Because they don't need to listen to anybody carefully. At the end of the day the rules don't apply to them)

Pointing out these logical contradictions is only useful to sway people who are on the middle of the fence. If you're having a one-to-one argument with someone however, your only real recourse is ragebaiting and I believe this fervently

It's futile trying to point out the contradictions within a conservative's ethical framework because at the end of the day they're not driven by that. You can't go "Ah you said THIS, but this other time you said THAT." Their whole shtick is the rules don't apply to them, only to people they hate

My favorite brand of reactionary are the ones who try to make a Gotcha re: the treatment of minorities while also not caring about said minorities. "Don't you know they kill fags like you in Iraq" damn you make a good point, you really have shown your deep and abiding concern for your fellow man

Bro this song is so fucking long. I don't remember it being this long

"It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes" is an ingenious line because it's also incredibly pragmatic advice. One must adapt to our surroundings or suffer.