Daixy

You're too kind 🤗

Gave my sister sulphur cosmos seedlings last year. They have bloomed nicely and self seeded in her garden bed. Now I have an extra source of seeds 😊

If I ever get the chance to visit with you, kindly lock up your snack cupboards 😊. You always have the good stuff 😂

"Thou shall not kill"

How can one be pro life and also call for blood?

Mr has not seen The Poseidon Adventure. Sounds like a movie night is in order.

So graceful ❤️

My next target is the mother of 2 who says she's never had an orgasm. Only knows missionary. Completely shocked when I suggested she take charge and try cowgirl. Compromised and decided on spoon. I'm waiting for the thank you call and my award for improving the sex lives of African women.

Recommended a tea to someone who complained about a dull sex life. Main complaint was low libido and dryness. Gave them samples to try out. Today they followed me to the store and bought boxes of the stuff.

Maybe sex therapist should be my next adventure?

Brendan Fraser.

What a class act ❤️

Heard that woman speak once and wondered how on earth she ever passed law school. Fucking banshee

Madness. How do we learn and unlearn if we do not look to the past? How do we measure our success or failures in meeting the prophecies of our predecessors? Or find inspiration? Or secret puzzles? Or witty insults wrapped in polite verse?

Slim Shady could recite my life right now

Be happy and encouraging when you see others doing well, life is hard enough without all the compare and despair we have become accustomed too.

Mail them flowers 😈

Omg congratulations! May this be one of many dreams come true for you 🎊

Someone please explain to me how Gisele survived falling out of a whole airplane?

I spice up his life. He'd be miserable without me 😂

He's having mercy on me because I'm not well. This is the purrfect time to practice my corniest jokes 😃

Sooooo good.

Please keep talking about mental health.

Waited 3 days to text him this.

Did you know that if you soak your funny bone in hot water, it becomes a laughing stock?

Personally I find it humerus. Dunno if I'll have a place to sleep to-marrow.

😁

Wtf? Ghana passed the anti lgbtq law?

*screams internally*

Aaand back to l'hopital 😢

*five minutes later I call from the couch*

Mr: Hello?
Me: Did you hear about the movie constipation?
Mr: *sighs* no i didn't
Me: It's never coming out
Mr: You want to sleep outside?

Me: Hey did you know diarrhoea is hereditary?
Mr: huh?
Me: It runs in your jeans
Mr: See yourself out

Guys im sleeping on the couch tonight 😂

Not surprised that person was begging to be let in on depravity.

I'm low-key angry at myself. I focused so much on everyone around me and helping them grieve or taking on responsibility. I didn't even notice something was wrong. I chalked my fatigue down to caregiver burnout and stress. Whole time I was proper sick. And now I have a long recovery ahead of me 😞

Welp verdict in

I love how in a bid to not gross my friends and colleagues with tmi I just report "oh I'm anaemic"

The truth? I birthed a fucking alien and lost enough blood over the last couple months to land me in hospital. It's my stuborness that has them sending me home.