Elizabeth

I’m at a bachelorette party so that’s perfect

An extra large bottle of kirkland signature. Branded Canadian whiskey on a counter

Anyone mind if let the Kirkland Signature Canadian whisky do the talking tonight?

Miranda Priestly from the Devil Wears Prada saying “Dodgers? World Series? Groundbreaking.”

A picture of Lorelai Gilmore played by Lauren Graham

A single mom who works two jobs
Who loves her kid and never stops
With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

My partner asked me if “Gilmore Girls was any good” and then started humming “I’m A Survivor” by Reba and then he asked me if that was the theme song

I’ve been laughing for 20 minutes straight, please send help

Completely understandable and reasonable response!

Miranda Priestly from the Devil Wears Prada saying “Dodgers? World Series? Groundbreaking.”

I have to be upfront: I haven’t watched a single minute of b*seball since The Incident

Yes, and I need my emotional support travel blogger!

Brace for inevitable "I can't quit Twitter here's why you're a bad person for suggesting it" replies

💯 💯 💯 I love chocolate + peanut butter — I happily get the chocolate pb meltalways from Asher’s or really any other brand. They have smooth, creamy, PROPER peanut butter. Reese’s is overly salty sawdust. I will not apologize for being right!

I feel like Arcade Fire falls here *ducks*. There are some bops sprinkled in their later albums, but nothing comes close to the front to back perfection of Funeral IMO 🤷🏻‍♀️

The GTA “ah shit here we go again” meme but the guy is wearing a black Iverson jersey and walking towards whatever they call the Sixers/Flyers arena now

Sorry, that’s better

(Already got tickets to one of the throwback jersey nights, sicko mode reactivated)

:)

bsky.app/profile/thej...

Thank you, Ben, you are a certified #candyknower

Look, if you want overly salty peanut-flavored sawdust wrapped in crap chocolate, I don’t know what to tell you!

Is this a safe space? Reese’s are 🚮

A black and white image of Michael Jordan with the caption “fuck them kids” in white over his face

Made it two (2) days before breaking into the Costco-sized bag of Halloween candy

Fixing the typo pretend you never saw this

Phillies hitters in the postseason:

When you hear it’s Mental Health Awareness Day, and you were already TOO AWARE

New profile picture for spooky season, and what are “Philly sports” anyways?

The Phanatic laying on the ground in black and white with the lyrics: All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for the daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere Over it

Make sure to drink water and otherwise practice self care

If you put on the Eagles after that, you’ve achieved Platinum Sicko Status, and I salute you

I’m choosing the less painful option of banging my head against a wall until bedtime

Yup. Hard to wrap your head around

Hard to process how much Kerkering’s brain just died in that moment — I saw the hit, thought, “good, he got out of the inning, and we have another shot”

JT waving so dramatically towards first; you probably could’ve seen that from space

And then it was over in one of the biggest fuck ups possible

JT basically putting up a billboard telling him to throw to first