Sarah

It's ok, I'll just send a follow-up that says "we need to talk, call me" and then I'll spring the good news.

Texting all my friends that lentils are on sale, receiving no replies.

Shouting "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB" at a leaf.

I'm not saying I'm stressed, but I just got jealous of some kale having dressing massaged into it.

Me (listening to the snail Snail in my ear telling me eat a 9am hotdog

the snail do be having good ideas tho

Hold music in one ear, "We Built This City" in the other, and my brain in between, hanging on for dear life.

Watching a film where I don't think Richard E. Grant is meant to be unsettling, but guess what.

The local gardening subreddit has pointed out that it's only 90 days until last frost and you have to laugh, because why do we live here.

Had to verify my debit card by pressing it to the back of my phone for the first time today, and it has me wondering what else my phone is verifying without me knowing. Cheese dust on my fingers? The presence of farts? What does the government know about how often I shower and when did they know it.

there should be an app where if you think you want to cut all your hair off but deep down you know it's a bad idea, you tell the app and it sends a couple of heavies around your house and they stare through your windows wearing wigs of your ill-advised haircut to warn you of how stupid you'd look

Forgotten hunk of Camembert in the fridge door coming through like the MVP it is.

*possesses the ingredients to make a dozens different meals* There is nothing to eat. Lunch will be a sleeve of crackers.

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.

Actor Vincent Price — in costume, dressed in white tie and tails, wearing a white boutonniere on his left lapel — captured facing the camera while glancing to the left, holding a round glass object in his hands, his shadow visible on the wall behind him, in an atmospheric medium-length black-and-white shot for the film The Long Night (1947)

Vincent Price in a publicity still for The Long Night (1947)

*tearing up because I've dropped a bowl on the floor and it's fine* This has nothing to do with my period.

And Sidney Poitier. But other than that I was quite strong.

I was weak in the face of Randolph Scott.

My belief that I have collected enough films this winter is coming up against a 25% off Indicator sale.

A side by side image of a sleeveless 1920s flapper style evening dress consisting of a sage green sequin background with black and gold sequinned floral motifs

The slick, wet look sequins used in the creation of this mid #1920s evening dress are made from cellophane. For over 30 years, sisters Anna & Laura Tirocchi brought European style over America in their Providence RI shop. This is one of their choices #RISDMuseum #FashionHistory 🗃️🪡

Pazuzu's wife, hearing Pazuzu's pager go off: Zuz, we talked about this. It's midnight.

Pazuzu: DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS JOB, ZUZAN?

Guy just wants to get some sleep, but little girls keep conjuring him with Ouija boards.

The underslept, red-eyed face of Pazuzu.

me moments ago when the nap of a lifetime was interrupted by a scam caller

Gonna take a bit of training on my part to defeat those functioning Gen Z knees, but to be honest, I don't expect any of us to be particularly strong.

I'm happy to hear this, but I will be engaging in hand-to-hand combat with these people in the aisles of my local thrift store.

Such decadence had not yet made it to the shores of Canada and my friend who was with me still talks about it to this day, 20 years later.

Country unnamed for stereotype reasons.

Greatest hospitality I have ever been shown is when I visited my mom's cousins for the first time and they poured cream over my ice cream.

I'm already sick of "It's all a distraction from Epstein" replies. This regime is killing innocent people because our leaders are all power-hungry tyrants and war profiteers. When you say it's "just a distraction" you minimize the gravity of what's happening and the lives lost.

Momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

There should be an Earth for people who don't hate all living things