🎃 Ms_Xtina 👻

Hey guys. Am I wearing a bra? Nobody fucking knows because it's finally motherfucking HOODIE SEASON.

1993: you buttmunch (derogatory)

2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)

I'm sure it will ruin me but I'm ready to give obscene wealth a try

What lol

Google lens exists...

God fucking dammit thank you!

Hey, I love traditions, but it ain't "Monopoly at McDonalds" on an app. If I'm not struggling against condensation to peel off that little ticket to tell me I won a Sausage Biscuit, it ain't right.

Not even 8am here and someone's informed me my daughter can't really be autistic because she can dress herself and use the bathroom on her own.

I could explain to them autism is a spectrum but making sure I never interact with them again seems better.

im sorry but mastodon is just a horrible name and for that reason alone ill never sign up

Lillian wants to shop the Book Fair Will you fund my favorite books and support CLIO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?

Heyyyy you beautiful SOULS. It's book fair time! ❤️ Want to support the absolute best 8 year old little girl and help her build her bedroom library? Books are $10-15 typically, but every bit counts! ❤️

shop.scholastic.com/ewallet/fund...

Lily really wants to make bracelets for all of her new friends in her class and she's ran out of supplies. There are lots of great prime deals but I don't get paid until next week. Sharing my wish list because you guys are so kind ❤️

www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

God forbid a girl take a mental health break from Facebook then all the town drama goes down and I miss it!

The old Rite Aid is going to be a gym, bee tee dubs.

Don't date dudes who like Harrison Butker.

Your life will be better for it.

Babe I've got an important call, please don't chant the cat's name like she's chugging a beer

*15 min later*

ᵗᵒᵒᵗᵉʳ ᵗᵒᵒᵗᵉʳ
ᵀᴼᴼᵀᴱᴿ ᵀᴼᴼᵀᴱᴿ
TOOTER TOOTER

Calling my mom to have her come pick me up from 2025 early it’s being mean to me

That's actually pretty genius

There it is

I bet our brains will come out of this ordeal very cool and normal

2/3 of my cats to brighten your day.

I'm going with him to get an MRI today and I'm probably more wrecked than he is but I can't let him know that.

To the people who say they've been to hell and back:

WHY DID YOU COME BACK???

Two wrongs don't make a right. Another two might though, don't give up.

Apparently the cat hasn’t been adjusted for daylight saving time.

He’s an hour late scolding me for not being in bed yet.

Remember to put your cats forward one hour.

The “you can’t make me wear a mask to save lives” cult has evolved into the “you can’t stop me from wearing a mask while I take lives” cult.

We know who it is
bsky.app/profile/thef...

Jess Waters recycling the same guy over and over to represent “former” different enemies

Acceptable 😂

Be sure to check out “Burnt CD” by Jon Langston

That really takes ya back, huh 🥺