Machine

a man in a wheelchair talking to another man in a corn field ALT: a man in a wheelchair talking to another man in a corn field

One of my very favorite movies #peanutbutterfalcon

Why does RFK Jr breathe like my 14 year old pug?

Imagine trying to fight me and I pull your pants down

This one goes out to Trump and everyone who voted for him:

I HATE YOU BITCH.
I AINT NEVER GON’ STOP HATIN YOU, BIIIIIIITCH

First wish: throw Elon into a volcano

“GENIE!
For my second wish I’d like accordions for legs!”

❤️ New Orleans

Via: youngfellazbrassband/IG

I aspire to be one of those people with a library of Vinyl records.
Floor to ceiling joy.

The silver lining here is that your critical thinking skills are among the highest in the country. 🦋

How it feels posting on Bluesky

I don’t want to be pretty, I want to be #Benegesserit

This is an experiment to see how well my #art does, posted on Bluesky. If you’d like to be part of this experiment, please engage

Was feeling really lazy about my appearance today until I saw my hot af fiance walk through the door and I suddenly felt the need to match that energy cuz right now he looks like a snack and I look like a chewed up piece of bubblegum with a shoe print on it.

No one to cut off in 2025 cuz I don’t fuck with people I don’t like.

The concept of “ethical “ taxidermy just annoys me anyway. What’s “ethical”? According to who?

I love YOU 🥹

Especially when it’s cold outside, I remember the nights I spent on park benches and sewer tunnels in my teens. It would shock you to learn how cold it can get during Arizona winters. That kind of trauma never leaves you, but it can make you so grateful for the warmth of your bed now.

I use to think Blackie Lawless and Lucy Lawless were related but I was wrong. It’s ok to be wrong, but now we know.

I don’t think anything will infuriate me quite like the way Lindsey Lohan does in her portrayal of being high on edibles. Coming from someone who’s been high than Richard Pryor, I expect better. #ourlittlesecret

Facts.

The 2000s were wild because if you were a woman with tattoos you were either a Suicide Girl or got really annoyed when someone asked if you were a suicide girl

THE law

Ok but why do my mans farts sound like the creaky floorboards of a haunted house?

a man in a suit and tie is talking to a woman in a blue headband . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is talking to a woman in a blue headband .

Literally cannot watch the #westminsterdogshow without quoting Best in Show every 30 seconds.

There are three small adults under that raincoat

It’s too early for Jimmy Fallon to be on this much ❄️ #thanksgivingdayparade

I have a very particular set of skills.

*hands you a list of all the potato dishes I can make.

If there really were a god than I’d hate him for making a possums lifespan 1-2 years. Like, what a dick.

6:30 am with my coffee.
Just sitting here thinking about the time I clothelined myself on a nylon cord from a tent while chasing a frog in front of Andy’s friends that I had just met.

I’m high on #whimsy, heaux.