The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Anyway, this account will return under the dweeb's control on Friday, since they've actually been on holiday for the last few days.
Don't know what tomorrow's post will be due to this. But don't expect anything too exciting. I'll probably just write about the latest delay or something.
(2/2)

Queen Meg here with news that the wyvern has been freed from the doorway. 🥳🥳🥳
Honestly surprised by how easy that was in the end. Nothing got damaged, Ross isn't being eaten by his new pet, and others can now go into the server room if they dare to.
(1/2)

We all hoped Ross's husband would knock some sense into him when he came to the office today.
But, while he did come in to tell him no. One look at the way the wyvern blinks slowly from one eye to the other, was all it took for him to also want it as a pet.
So, Ross is keeping it, I guess. 😮‍💨
(2/2)

Tomorrow will be the day we can finally get that wyvern out of the doorway! 🥳
Although, we do have one problem.
Ross is set on keeping it as a pet.
To be fair the monster is fairly docile around him, on account of him taking care of it.
But... It's a freaking wyvern not a dog.
(1/2)

Currently, our server room is acting up in a way that is causing Bread Leaf to slowly absorb Butter Leaf in it, like we're making a sandwich with Leafs (a plain butter one but then again we wouldn't want more leafs sucked in)
Point is, we have to find a way to undo this before it's too late!
(3/3)

It's simple really, our world (which here forth I'm calling the Bread Leaf) and the other world (named Butter Leaf after a very famous gremlin) are part of a big ass tree that has other worlds (Leafs).
(2/3)

Two days until the solution is finished.
Had a meeting with the higher ups of Sliced Bread Inc™ to explain some things.
😮‍💨
They still really don't understand why I keep using the word Leaf instead of World, and the whole our Leaf consuming the other Leaf.
(1/3)

Queen Meg still here.
My engineering gremlins are busy turning the slime into a solution that will unstuck this wyvern. They believe it will take 3 days.
In other news. Ross is thinking about keeping the wyvern as a pet.
😂 😂 😂
Not my problem, but I can't wait to cash in my bet when it kills him.

The expedition to gather the slime we need was a great success!
Sure, there was a mishap with a sudden appearance of a king slime in the server room subspace. But my second in command, Meepette, a brave gremlin if ever, was able to make quick work of the monster.
This life beats being in the office!

Anywho, me and my army have decided the best way to unstuck that wyvern, would be to make it really slippery. And according to my gremlins, nothing is more slippery than the slimes of 'long ass name', which has recently been sucked into the subspace of the room.
So that's tomorrow sorted. ✌️ (3/3)

Like I know, copyright and all that shit, but that dweeb even ™ my glorious title of Queen of the Gremlins.
I didn't get lost in the server room that's slowly consuming another leaf (world for those not in the know), befriend a tribe of gremlins, and become their queen, just to be ™.
🤬🤬🤬 (2/3)

What's up b-words! (Told I couldn't swear too much on here) It's Queen Meg here to present today's update (and future ones until that darn wyvern is gone)
Before I start with what me and the gremlins done today, can I just gripe about something.
What is with this account all the ™ this ™ that? (1/3)

Big announcement.
Meg will temporarily take over the social account from tomorrow, so she can keep you all up to date about the wyvern problem.
I will apologise in advance for the unprofessional posts she might make. But at least she can bring up certain details I wouldn't be able to.

5) Ross, for some stupid reason, has taken it upon himself to feed and care for the wyvern. He's treating it like a wounded animal, and not the deadly beast it is.
6) We are all taking bets for if and when the wyvern will kill Ross.
7) TBTSSB™ is still being delayed due to all of this.
(2/2)

A few tiny updates on the stuck wyvern:
1) Meg and the gremlins are now making a better plan.
2) Everyone is advised to avoid the hallway near the beast for now.
3) The boss is sad his plan isn't being used.
4) His secretary will still buy a huge spatula for him.
(1/2)

A drawing by our CEO, made in Mario Paint, showing how he would deal with the stuck wyvern. It features him, his secretary, Meg, and the Wyvern. The plan I think is to use a giant spatula to remove the wyvern. ... Remember, he is only two years old.

Our CEO would like me to show everyone his 'super duper' plan for getting the wyvern unstuck.
...
Remember, he is only two years old. And suffice to say, this is not the plan we will be going with. But he is the boss, so if he wants me to post this, then that's what I have to do.

Ross from the IT department would like me to make a quick correction about yesterday's post.
It's not a dragon stuck in the server room doorway, it's a wyvern.
Apparently there's a huge difference between the two, and it's disgraceful I didn't know.
The size and numbers of legs are the big tell.

Due to this unique problem. We will need to delay The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread™ for a more indefinite time. So, even if we don't state it, please presume TBTSSB™ is still not out.
Then again, I would presume you all already would presume that.
Hang tight, but not as tight as this dragon.
(2/2)

A dragon has tried to break out of the server room!
Tried being the key word here. Currently it's stuck in the doorway, with no way of getting unstuck.
Higher ups are talking with Meg through the window (already paying for itself), and are currently finding the best way to deal with this.
(1/2)

...
Honestly not surprised by how unserious Meg is acting today. She was always the office prankster.
At least these windows will help us all know that she is doing fine in there.

No work was done on TBTSSB™ today, due to the an installing of windows next to the server room door.
These windows give us a safer way to check how things are going on in there.
At the moment, Queen Meg and a few of her gremlins are making faces in the window, so I guess everything is fine for now.

Today, Steve from accounting was trying to meta game the board game we were playing as a team activity.
He had to be reminded that this is a 'no meta' work place.
Here at Sliced Bread Inc™, we focus on our deep lore alone.
Which is why, today the delay was caused by a harsh part of our lore.

Linda was performing at another poetry night yesterday. Felt so long since I went to the last one. Guess it had been a heck of a month.
The way she weaves words together, it's so spectacular. ❤️ I think I might be in love.
...
Anyway, we had to delay TBTSSB™ again due to a mime blocking the door.

We have to delay The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread™ again, today. This time due to our two year old boss getting really into Mario Paint on his Switch 2.
...
Can't blame him. It is a really good classic game. Wish Nintendo made a new one, especially since the Switch 2 has mouse support.

Steve from accounting got in serious trouble today. He was poisoning pigeons in the park.
...
Steve said he was doing a tribute to the late great Tom Lehrer. But we all know he was just looking for any excuse to do this.
Anyway, due to a mounting legal case, TBTSSB™ must be delayed again.

Wasn't allowed in on the meeting that Queen Meg had with our company, because it's only for the higher ups. And as the only one apart of our social media department, I'm not considered one of the higher ups.
So I can't say how it went, only that's today another delay, and griffin pizza is alright.

...
Honestly, Meg, you haven't been gone that long. You should know we don't eat griffin in our world (leaf).
Like, what do we even do with this thing. Let it decay in the canteen.
Then again, what would a griffin meat pizza taste like?

Queen Meg of the Gremlins™ came out of the server room to discuss the growing problem inside there. And as a present of good will, she gave us a dead griffin.
In other news, we need to delay TBTSSB™ due to the hallway needing cleaning.

Pizza being served in the canteen was a mistake.
There is now a war going on between those who love pineapple on pizza, those who hate pineapple on pizza, and those who think this debate is over done.
Because of this intense war, we must delay The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread™ again.

Ahh... 503, my favourite type of bread.