Kav

eurovision has been such an important and integral part of my life and it ended today. genuinely quite sad

how will billie piper get him out of this one

yeah fair. but i think there's an added edge from SING HOSANNA on loop in your head for hours on end

i thought it would be a good bit to listen to primary school bangers when my partner got home. he ended up coming home late so i sat for about 2 hours listen to children singing hymns and basically went insane

you are 100% correct in your guess

get a cat they said. your house definitely won’t stink of piss because a different cat decided to start a turf war with your cat for your own back door

i also did this to now convicted russian spy nathan gill, his friend suspected spy [redacted] was the one who took the best bait on it and started talking about our previous night out in detail

i once convinced this man that we’d had drinks multiple times and were good friends but he just struggled to tell indian people apart and he believed me x

can’t believe im being cancelled on bluesky for being a catholic

im an atheist who was raised hindu who’s been getting in to the pope solely through an instagram algorithm of predominately catholic shitposts, and i know substantially more about jesus’s views on welfare from the instagram shitposts than kemi badenoch

the anglicans need to appeal to the shitposting youth with a better gift shop. i was genuinely disappointed at the liverpool cathedral last month hoping for some tat and just getting bland children’s books

We saw you from across the bar and really like your vibe. Can we buy you a drink?

im wondering if i could somehow trick alex in to attending. it would be easier to trick him in to a catholic marriage course than my alternative plan to trick him in to being baptised so that we can get blessed by the pope

my favourite new form of tat is millennial saint tat

why have i been doing my catholic bit solely on instagram and not on bluesky where 10% of my followers also special interest the church

tell me more about the catholic marriage course do you have to be catholic to do it

i spent about £100 on awful pope tat and i regret nothing. i upgraded my luggage to bring it home

i got a pope francis bottle opener from the vatican last week

i was in rome last week on a catholic girls trip and although i did read all of the official sources, i still got drawn in to the middlemen solely for the rush of catholicism

the worst bit is its free for a papal audience, this is non church sanctioned catholic capitalism

im low key obsessed with sumit and jenny and its so off brand for me to be in to this that i don’t know anyone who knows who they are

sigh. but also yeah if i was a billionaire i would probably buy this house for this art alone it is very me coded

Three more ex-pupils at school with Nigel Farage reject ‘banter’ claims Exclusive: Dulwich college contemporaries ‘rubbish’ Reform UK leader’s suggestion alleged racist taunts not intended to hurt

New: Three new ex-pupils come forward, on the record, to say Farage's racism as a teenager was targeted, persistent and nasty. Farage has denied targeting any individuals - but two of the men tell us they recall Farage abusing Peter Ettedgui.

w/ Dan Boffey, @drblacklock.bsky.social

the gb news fixation on whitechapel is like 15 years out of date? why are they going on about how bengali it is when it’s in the throes of gentrification and the bengalis are being priced out and replaced by craft ale

biffa bf/veolia gf

i just realised nancy from peep show and sally from flight of the conchords isn’t heather graham and it’s completely broken my mind????

if peep show is anything to go by, dating apps revolutionised dating. sophie has the choice of 2 terrible men, both of whom work with her. and there’s no one else available for her to bone

the trinity (father, son, holy ghost)

“pyaar is to chill” genuinely hits more at 35 than it did at umm..13