Patient Zero

Earhart crashed in 1937. The FBI will have zero records from that time.

Nom Nom Nom

You can be a little mad. I prolly shouldn't have smoked crack.

I didn't know he was a shitbag at the time and he paid for the crack, so...

I met Kid Rock once. He was friends with a bartender at a club I worked at. I smoked crack with the two of them.

Necromancy is a mortal sin in the Catholic Church for a reason.

Stop tormenting this woman.

I've never asked for forgivness.

I've never said a prayer.

But for Dolly, I'll pray. And you should too you mother fucking piece of shit.

Occasionally I remember that William Butler Yeats got into a wizard battle with Aleister Crowley over Bullshit Wizard Stuff which ended with Yeats kicking Crowley down a flight of stairs.

Bought a can of spaghetti-O's in what I can only describe as a case of nostalgia-induced madness and yeah, it was bad.

Two years on from the beginning and my attitude is the same as it was on the day: Free Palestine!

Dick wolves are a monster that looks like a wolf but whose every leg, nose, and tail are a throbbing penis. Famously, they were used for a mid joke in a Penny Arcade comic, but conceptually speaking are a solidly funny idea.

I will go to war with Britain to claim mac & cheese as the rightful heritage of Americans.

I don't care about facts, this is about honor.

My daughters are collectively about as intelligent as a side of tater tots, but I do love them.

Bites, what are you even doing?

Just ask Heater to do the stream instead.

Steven King originally released The Green Mile as a serialized set. He had a period in the 90's where it seemed like he got bored and just started trying shit out.

Jealous, tbqh.

All my reply guys are usually rational and boring. I need someone to get totally unhinged.

Season 1 was pretty good but it fell off fast.

Going with my gf to get a pair of jeans started out as an errand and turned into a quest.

Women's clothing don't make no goddamn sense!

Kinda love it, ngl

If you were already speeding you should've just outrun the cops, genius!

Why do I feel like eating Olive Garden? I know that if I do I'm going to end up feeling bloated and disgusting.

Dick wolves were the most controversial thing Penny Arcade ever produced but it's been more than a decade and we should really move on.

Is he dying again?

Can he actually get it done this time?

Pigs have historically had a difficult time infiltrating leftist groups because we're paranoid and they don't have any grasp of theory.

That said, if a conventionally attractive cishet woman shows up and starts talking about bombs, they're a cop.

Urkle deserved all the shit he ate and more for voluntarily going on time travel adventures with a Chicago cop.

Opened fire on that music festival with an Apache gunship.

You know how big the bullet for a 30mm cannon that thing packs are? They're bigger than your hand. The actual rounds are bigger than a sausage. And that's the lightest weapon it carries. You think they only hit Arabs?

Was watching a stream of that last night and had the thought, "This is going to hit a certain kind of woman like an atom bomb".

Might want to look at the origins of that quote, boss.

Did I have a stroke?