Gregory Possum-Friend

whenever i heard that, it made me insanely, ravenously hungry for all the items they list. it was a level of crave induction more severe than any weed munchies i have ever experienced

why the FUCK is this song changing key. if it wanted to be in that key so bad, why didn't it start in that key. stop making a scene

(feeling the guy underneath me getting an erection) hey buddy, cmon, save it for the Love Shack

got me a Chrysler

that's as big as a whale

all right, Fred Schneider... I'll allow it

was trying to figure out how mnay people died of natural causes in the 12 days of Pluribus so far (probably somewhere between 1.5 and 2 million) and came across a really useful web site

(Having sex with a preternaturally beautiful woman who was overly eager to get me alone): I wonder what she's going to morph into to kill me

wife and i having a post-ep discussion thats basically arguing about the ranking of Who's The Biggest Asshole between Carol, Koumba, and Pluribus

wife: "sucks that the xmas party got cancelled, but i'm thinkin we can put on Muppet Christmas Carol for the kids and then i am going to fuck around and relax"
me: "ooooo i'm gonna paint the rivets on my Plague Marines"

grabbing an eyedropper full of IPA for this vinaigrette and then sighing, "well. it's already open,

Acropolis Chicken recipe. adapted from the cookbook from Peter Christian's Tavern in New London NH. basically if spanakopita was a protein-heavy entree for an american crowd. don't worry about the wine type, any white will do or just sub a bit of white grape juice. spinach, feta, grecipe

ran into a friend from junior high/ highschool and he was like "man it's wild seeing you with all these kids" and i was like "yes, i didnt have any children in high school"

made a bunch of acropolis chicken and almond roca for the church Christmas Fair sale, and they were the first things to sell out. and isn't that the truest Reason For The Season: culinary victory over one's fellow human

One of the dilemmas of living through the second Trump administration is that saying these things out loud seems crazy. But yeah, the death penalty is an established, well-documented thing we have on the books for precisely these kinds of crimes; they obviously did it; and it's not hard to prove.

A comic page that looks like gray marble inset with CRT television. A very white newswoman on screen sits at a gray marble desk with papers in front of her. A 777 bug is burned into the lower left. She says: More bad news for dog owners: a ringing bell marks the start of JACKAL SEASON. Plus, jackals are here! We’ll take a look at how you and your family can meet them as soon as possible.

anchovy loves some sweet fruit to frolic among
bsky.app/profile/poss...

i didn't hear "Brand New Key" until i was like 20, and i was trying to see if my girlfriend had ever heard it, and discovered that being an average-deep-voiced male going "I GOT A BRAND NEW PAIR OF ROLLER SKATES" elicits responses like "what the fuck are you doing. what is that. is that singing"

i'm afraid i don't see any proof that she did anything. I simply see an extremely poised and elegant woman minding her own business and not confessing to anything. i hope this innocent intriguingly-demeanored woman has a wonderful day

4-year-old: "what does Lemmy say when he's in a cage?"
me:"i dont know"
4-year-old: "he says LEMMY OUT!"
me: "that's.. really good. did you make up that joke yourself?"
4-year-old: "yeah!"
me: "that's quite good dude"
4-year-old: "plus I'm GREAT at climbing!!"

this part of the Holy Diver music video takes place in the same castle as the rest of the video, but it looks more like Dio is walking between classes at a small liberal arts college

winding up with a ten-pound iron pipe as i shout "ALIENS HATE THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK"

mel gibson: "merrill.. what do you think my wife meant before she died.. when she said 'HIT THE ALIENS WITH A BASEBALL BAT'..."
joaquin phoenix: "mmrnn... nothin... probably just the wind.."

me to the 7-year-old: "it's very sweet that you made her this medal, but you cannot scotch-tape pieces of paper to the side of the cat. cats do not like that"

mtv: "if you look at the dumbest possible guy singing a terrible song in a hockey jersey and wraparound shades, then we will splice in a half-second of bikini babe every 20 seconds"
me: "i will take that deal"

looking through a 90s one hit wonder music video playlist, and it's obvious why i spent so much time as a teen watching vh1 and mtv. i was patiently waiting for something halfway good to come on

YES!! this kicks ass!!!!

the other day i left the door to my unfinished cottage open, and a chickadee must've flown in and got trapped in there. i only realized later in the day, when i walked in and it was sitting on my power cage, absorbing Ambient Strength

one time a cute girl at a bar asked where i got my Virginia Woolf sweatshirt and i went through a way too long tangent about the site i ordered it from before realizing she wanted to know about the actual design, which I'd painted on. i realized later that she was probably hitting on me

more like Marc Defensive

we all love to draw kirby and prince fluff

My friend @boneysoups.bsky.social's debut novel, THE RED SACRAMENT, is coming out next year. When I tell you it's one of the best vampire novels of the 21st century, I am not exaggerating.

Preorder here: titanbooks.com/72219-the-re...