☭ Sabrina the Teenage Carpenter☭

What happened to Charlie Kirk is objectively a good and funny thing.

So uh

Don’t try the sushi at QT. It tastes exactly how you suspect it does 🤢

You either die SpongeBob or live long enough to become Squidward

Denims kinda has the vibe of a coworker who seems really quiet and keeps to herself only for you to find out that she’s fucking deranged off the clock

Crazy how so much has changed in the last 5 years.

I was shocked to discover that Sexyy Red isn’t 37 years old.

I don’t understand the weird cultural rules we have for speaking about our exes. I like my exes for the most part. We may not have worked out but the things I liked about them are still there. While acknowledging that I would never go back, I appreciate the time we spent together.

Has RFK Jr forgotten what family he comes from? Bro is worried about the wrong kind of shots

Men will really punch a tree or a brick wall and be like “ahhh my hand, I think I broke it”

Yeah dumbass, what did you think would happen?

mfs will literally ask you what’s wrong and then get mad at you for answering honestly 😒

Ever since I was a little boy I always knew I wanted to be a slutty woman.

Babe wake up, contrapoints dropped her yearly video

Idea: Gritty lo-fi horror movie about people smoking weed in a jungle called Cannabis Holocaust.

“I detransitioned because Hamas. Please don’t let your kids trans”

The fourth Britney Spears album is a goddamn masterpiece

I salute Hasan because in the same situation, I would’ve pulled up on Ethan and beat the dog shit out of him MONTHS ago.

Muslims who work the night shift watching everyone around them struggle with the fasting that they aren’t awake for

This thc seltzer has instructions like “drink 1/4 of the can and wait an hour.” Thanks for the concern, but I’m trying to see God. I’ll chug every can as fast as my body will allow

The Josh Johnson set in Columbia KILLED. Never laughed so hard in my life. If he is coming near you, please go see him.

@joshjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social

good cat MAAD kitty

Peach is the Wario to Rosalina and I will not elaborate further

*whispers* “so is she, you know… friends with Chappell?”

In an alternate universe there’s a rapper named Kanye East who, years after his hit song “White Hotep,” would end up becoming the first white Black Hebrew Israelite.

Listening to Björk feels like when you take that first breath of air after sipping a McDonald’s Sprite

Every now and I again I remember that Chain of Strength existed and I respect the fuck out of them being like “yeah we drink AND we’re straight edge” with their whole chests lol

Western media talking about Muslims: 🤬
Western media talking about Chinese people: 👺
Western media talking about Chinese Muslims: 🥺

It’s always funny to see Type O fans because they’re predominantly people who listen to the HARDEST music you’ve ever heard, but their favorite band is this depressed, horny Dracula music.

the first red flag with YNW Melly should be that he mixed molly with promethazine because wtf dude, why would you waste those by mixing them?!