I KNEW EVERYONE CALLED THEM CUMBALLS.
06.03.2026 04:38 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I KNEW EVERYONE CALLED THEM CUMBALLS.
06.03.2026 04:38 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
The thing about Donald Trump is that he really only loves three things: murder, theft, and rape
The other thing about Donald Trump is that he only really hates three things: laws, democracy, and brown people
I have not been feeling very sexual recently and that sucks. Idk if I wanna fuck with my hormones or just vibe.
06.03.2026 02:06 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Huh. We’re gonna have to change that.
05.03.2026 19:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0For a trans woman? That doesn’t sound right.
05.03.2026 18:26 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I had never actually heard his voice, and I gotta say: straight men, you listen to this weenie?
05.03.2026 14:41 — 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0
a tale as old as time
05.03.2026 14:03 — 👍 64 🔁 12 💬 1 📌 0We live in different universes.
05.03.2026 14:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Oof. Fucking hell.
05.03.2026 13:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Y’know if WWIII would lead to regime change here…
05.03.2026 07:26 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0as this society fails, it will naturally trend toward either a depressing Onion Headline Future, or an unhinged Clickhole Headline Future. It is our duty to steer it toward the latter.
05.03.2026 06:39 — 👍 37 🔁 10 💬 1 📌 1Oh wow, that sounds really fun! How about we do that, huh? What a big girl!
05.03.2026 06:40 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0You know what you gotta do: get real specific and rules-oriented about your magic system.
05.03.2026 06:30 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0As an ageplay enthusiast,
05.03.2026 06:29 — 👍 9 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Don’t worry, I’m also too fat to fit in them.
05.03.2026 06:20 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I may be into stuff I didn’t like as a teen, but at least I feel confident that Frank Turner still sucks. He’s Ed Sheeran in a Sex Pistols shirt.
05.03.2026 06:18 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Saw troublingly skinny gay femboy makeup influencer in sponsored content from Victoria’s Secret.
Ok cool I also have a cock but I actually have a chest to fill out that bra. Can I get a sponsorship deal too?
Your brother looks like a dork.
05.03.2026 06:08 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I hope they tipped well for you fixing their problem!
05.03.2026 06:07 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
15 year old me: ugh this rap-metal “hardcore” shit sucks, I’m too punk for that.
35 year old me: FIRST UP IS BIOHAZARD, THEN WE GOT E TOWN CONCRETE, THEN WE GOT DOWNSET. ALSO I’M A LADY.
Server or bartender? Because either way, you won this shift.
05.03.2026 06:04 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
I’m at the US Army adviser to Trump
I’m at the foot fetish model
Okay I am a little too drunk to have driven but this shit fucking slaps.
05.03.2026 05:57 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Me: yeah I’m totally safe to drive
Also me: FIVE BLOCKS TO THE SUBWAAAAY, JUST FIVE BLOCKS AWAY
It’s a bad movie!
05.03.2026 05:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I had 4 drinks. I am *fucked*.
05.03.2026 05:00 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Drunkenly explaining the Inside Out “No Spiritual Surrender” debacle to @megnet1c.bsky.social as our friend sings RATM at karaoke.
05.03.2026 04:13 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Good news everyone: drunk
05.03.2026 04:11 — 👍 14 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0HARDER AND HARDER
05.03.2026 04:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Corn Division Marduk
05.03.2026 00:39 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0