🗡️The Conqueror🗡️

32 years old today and I feel better than I have in the past decade! Grateful to see another year 🥳

beats his wife while the horse and gorilla fight, then the horse and gorilla start making out AI HAS GONE TOO FAR

Just saw a video of a female cat cheating on her husband with a male horse then coming home as he’s leaving to go cheat on her with a male gorilla. Then while he’s cheating at a motel, he sees on his ring camera the horse bringing roses to his wife, drives back home with his gorillover, crashes out,

These Amazon deals kinda suck

Should I get my friend to write me a doctors note saying I can’t come to work because I have Ebola?

a baby elephant is standing behind a fence with its trunk in the air . ALT: a baby elephant is standing behind a fence with its trunk in the air .

Me rn cause I just shaved for the first time in idk how many months

Remember last Halloween when that guy dressed like a sims and pissed a bunch of people off just for being hot?
I’m tryna be that level of hot this Halloween but Idk what to be.

I love how all gospel songs are just like “yeah life is tough but one day it won’t be…when I die” LMAOOOOOOO

Was scrolling ig and thought this was serious for a second 😭 I was like not @kevonstage.bsky.social 🤣

I shouldn’t have clicked the link, that was humbling

Getting the hang of this circular knitting machine. Christmas gifts are gonna be so much cheaper this year

Mildly thirst trapping on close friends

I need to start back crocheting again. Got blankets and beanies to make before it gets cold

I just paid $18 for a vodka + Red Bull and somebody bumped me and it almost spilled

I start my month of no alcohol this Friday in preparation for my first marathon. Imma look like a Greek god by race day.

White boy at work just asked me what my opinion on “the Charlie Kirk situation” is and I said “who is that? I keep hearing his name” and he was flabbergasted.

Me when I get in my car to leave work every day

My stomach has been messed up all morning yet here I am having a milkshake for lunch ☠️

AUNTIE⁉️
But same though

Having some 8 am airport beers and a marg before my flight and with the last beer I bought a birthday girl headed to DR 🇩🇴 a tequila shot and I drank the beer in the same amount of time it took her to take the shot. Expecting an intervention from my friends when I get back but I’m also impressed.

I’m loving the “false fall” mornings then Georgia summer afternoons.

Pumpkin spice creamer in my coffee this morning. It’s a good day 😌

It upsets me when people say “how do you not like tomatoes but eat ketchup?” as if they taste the same.

Day 2 of me getting to work on time and my boss being late. What’s going on?

Auto reply:

Thank you for your email. I will be out of office and will be able to respond upon my return on 17 Jan 2028.

Good luck!

Just thought about the fact I’ll be 40 in a little over 8 years and that just doesn’t seem right.

One thing about runners, we’re gonna stroke our own c*cks.

Yesterday I got up at 5am, started running at 5:30, finished 20 miles before 10am, went shopping with some friends, took a 15 minute nap, went over to a friends for dinner and pregame, went to a bar, and got home at 2am. I’m built different I guess.

This morning’s route 🏃🏿‍♂️
#MarathonTraining
#MaratonDeSantoDomingo #BlackskyFitness
#FitnessSky #RunnersOfBluesky