Anthony Donovan

Turns out they don't make guacamole at your table here. No one knows who that guy was.

Update: He was not ready
#IcameInTooHot

a trader joe’s employee who says “really? these fucking suck, in my honest opinion” to every single item in your cart

I’m fine with the Rapture as long as the man from Mars does not eat my cars and guitars and head

Me: *makes a single small purchase from a brand*

Brand: We are now betrothed

Believe it or not, it is possible to have a wife and young children while still being a complete piece of shit excuse for a human being.

the guy talked into microphones for hours every single day and none of his supporters are honoring his memory by posting anything he ever said.

Just a reminder that yes, this is in fact, exactly who we are as a country. Through and through.

who are you gonna believe, literally every scientist or the anti-vax whack job who would be yelling on a street corner at midnight if his last name wasn't "kennedy"?

An empty booth with a sign that says “vendor removed for selling AI art #ArtBYHumans”

I love the smell of consequences in the morning. Thank you, @dragoncon.org

Ah yes, the classic flavors of “China”…

Live your life in such a way that, upon realizing that you are probably p seriously ill, millions of people are not torn between hoping you die as soon as a body can possibly shuffle off its mortal coil and hoping that you survive long enough to go to prison and die there.

And to answer your question, Olivia Newton John, NO, I have in fact never been mellow.

remember folks, we cant have gun restrictions because if we do the federal government will occupy our streets, imprison people without due process, ship dissidents to foreign gulags and things of that nature

I’m feeling more expression from A

I’ve said it for years. Arlington is gonna need to beef up their security A LOT.

Happy Birthday!

Capitalism turns life itself into a subscription service, as if the act of having a body is just another big ticket item you purchased from the existence store.

But being alive is an almost infinitely inelastic commodity, and there is no competition to keep the cost down.

Next announcement from the WH: “the list doesn’t exist but Biden and The Clintons are definitely on it.”

Good job, guys

I’m sure the billionaires love you too.

It’s a terrible bill. It will literally kill people. The most vulnerable among us will suffer as the wealthiest benefit. It’s perverse. I wish there were something I could do. But alas, I am only a U.S. Senator from Alaska whose “no” vote would kill the bill. So I voted yes. You get it.

The fragility

“Riley Gaines weighs in on NYC mayoral primary” jesus christ lady you tied for fifth in one race shut the fuck up already

For the life of me I will never understand why anyone would ever care about box office receipts from a film they did not produce or work on in any way. Like, what? Why are you invested?

Don’t look at my spellcheck changing “Delicious” to “Deli Mucus” and tell me I’m the problem.

All I'm saying is that if it were my birthday and countless thousands of people showed up to tell me how much they hate me I'd probably at least reconsider my life choices.

Genie: ok what do you want for your birthday
Trump: a military parade, oh, and also millions of people on the street chanting my name
Genie: okie dokie

THANK YOU! I feel like I’m insane when I’m telling people how very very very BAD that would be

Somewhere a presidential historian is wheezing into a paper bag right now