M@tt

M@tt

@cozyoats.bsky.social

Shy introvert. Lover of movies. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

2,659 Followers 1,368 Following 488 Posts Joined Sep 2023
2 weeks ago

Face reveal. Wrong answers only.

18 0 0 3
1 month ago
Preview
homer simpson with a monkey in his head Alt: a monkey banging cymbals in Homer Simpson's head

What brain?

2 0 1 0
2 months ago

Bonne année, Samy. Vive la France, Voulez-Vous - ABBA, etc. ✌️

3 0 1 0
2 months ago

Side note: I went to a french elementary school, and even though my verbal proficiency is pretty merde, I still understand your french posts. Well, I understand like 97.8% of them. There were times you've used certain words and sayings that I've never heard of, but luckily Google Translate exists.

3 0 1 0
2 months ago

And when the cops finally catch up to us, we'll take them on a high speed chase which will end with us driving off a cliff Γ  la Thelma & Louise. Your dog will be in the back seat firing baguettes at them from her bazooka.

2 0 1 0
2 months ago

Thanks for brightening the start of my new year with this undeserving but much appreciated post, mon ami.
I look forward to living out this post-apocalyptic, zucchini-less scheme of yours. I hope when we're not tending to the crops, we'll find time to eat the rich. Maybe rob a bank or ten.

3 0 1 0
2 months ago

This is the ideal gay couple.

You may not like it, but this is what peak faggotry looks like.

24 0 2 1
2 months ago

You can watch it on Dailymotion.

2 0 0 0
3 months ago

Caved in and finally started watching Heated Rivalry.

128 12 2 14
4 months ago

Welcome to Target

36 2 0 1
4 months ago
a single-panel cartoon by illustrator Will Santino depicting a doctor calling out the name "Ptimothy?" to a waiting room of patients, one of whom is a pterodactyl

Pterodactyl.

19 2 1 0
5 months ago
A cylindrical loaf of brown bread standing upright next to its original can. The can's label reads 'New England's Finest B&M Burnham & Merrill Brown Bread Original 99% Fat Free No Cholesterol'

One (1) can of bread.

3 0 0 0
5 months ago

At first I wasn't sure if it was you, but your selfie from the other day while canvassing (wearing the grey shirt with the bag strap over your shoulder) confirmed it. πŸ˜†

2 0 0 0
5 months ago
blurry humans
4 0 1 0
5 months ago
Preview
homer simpson is standing in front of a pink door in a room . Alt: homer simpson is standing in a room .
2 0 1 0
5 months ago
Preview
homer simpson and bart simpson sit on a couch Alt: homer simpson and bart simpson sit on a couch
2 0 1 0
5 months ago

Me waiting for the Rapture:

67 2 4 0
6 months ago

I keep them in the freezer and eat 'em like mini freeze pops.

4 0 1 0
6 months ago

When I see that, I hear this:

23 1 1 0
6 months ago
Three bottles of superhero themed 3-in-1 Body Wash/Shampoo/Conditioner, featuring Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Batman

Your good shampoo:

3 0 0 0
6 months ago

In s07e06 'The Newlydreads', Jack says to a guy in a bookstore: "My lord, you're tall! Would you mind coming into the back? I'd like you to reach for something."

2 0 1 0
7 months ago

This is my Last Supper

28 0 0 0
7 months ago
Preview
a man in a chef 's uniform is preparing food in a restaurant kitchen ALT: a man in a chef 's uniform is preparing food in a restaurant kitchen

You adding freshly ground Flintstones Vitamins to your pizza:

3 0 2 0
7 months ago

I grew up on these streets.

41 0 0 3
7 months ago

The bra:

43 2 4 0
7 months ago
Preview
a man with a sad look on his face is standing in front of a window with the word relatable written on it . Alt: a man nodding is standing in front of a window with the word relatable written on it .
2 0 0 0
7 months ago

You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?

27 1 0 5
8 months ago

Not a cellphone in sight.
Just people enjoying their lives.

67 7 1 6
8 months ago

Right?! And where's his Lifetime Achievement award?! 😀

1 0 0 0
8 months ago

F2 Fast 2 Furious

1 0 1 0