M@tt

Face reveal. Wrong answers only.

homer simpson with a monkey in his head Alt: a monkey banging cymbals in Homer Simpson's head

What brain?

Bonne année, Samy. Vive la France, Voulez-Vous - ABBA, etc. ✌️

Side note: I went to a french elementary school, and even though my verbal proficiency is pretty merde, I still understand your french posts. Well, I understand like 97.8% of them. There were times you've used certain words and sayings that I've never heard of, but luckily Google Translate exists.

And when the cops finally catch up to us, we'll take them on a high speed chase which will end with us driving off a cliff à la Thelma & Louise. Your dog will be in the back seat firing baguettes at them from her bazooka.

Thanks for brightening the start of my new year with this undeserving but much appreciated post, mon ami.
I look forward to living out this post-apocalyptic, zucchini-less scheme of yours. I hope when we're not tending to the crops, we'll find time to eat the rich. Maybe rob a bank or ten.

This is the ideal gay couple.

You may not like it, but this is what peak faggotry looks like.

You can watch it on Dailymotion.

Caved in and finally started watching Heated Rivalry.

Welcome to Target

a single-panel cartoon by illustrator Will Santino depicting a doctor calling out the name "Ptimothy?" to a waiting room of patients, one of whom is a pterodactyl

Pterodactyl.

A cylindrical loaf of brown bread standing upright next to its original can. The can's label reads 'New England's Finest B&M Burnham & Merrill Brown Bread Original 99% Fat Free No Cholesterol'

One (1) can of bread.

At first I wasn't sure if it was you, but your selfie from the other day while canvassing (wearing the grey shirt with the bag strap over your shoulder) confirmed it. 😆

blurry humans

Me waiting for the Rapture:

I keep them in the freezer and eat 'em like mini freeze pops.

When I see that, I hear this:

Three bottles of superhero themed 3-in-1 Body Wash/Shampoo/Conditioner, featuring Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Batman

Your good shampoo:

In s07e06 'The Newlydreads', Jack says to a guy in a bookstore: "My lord, you're tall! Would you mind coming into the back? I'd like you to reach for something."

This is my Last Supper

a man in a chef 's uniform is preparing food in a restaurant kitchen ALT: a man in a chef 's uniform is preparing food in a restaurant kitchen

You adding freshly ground Flintstones Vitamins to your pizza:

I grew up on these streets.

The bra:

You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?

Not a cellphone in sight.
Just people enjoying their lives.

Right?! And where's his Lifetime Achievement award?! 😤

F2 Fast 2 Furious