Redville Zoo

Classic Greeneville move

We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.

Terrifying clown against a stark striped background

We want to congratulate Greeneville management on 1 day since a clown terrified a child at their "brilliant" BOO AT THE ZOO Halloween event.

We're not a "gimmick account"

We apologize for trying to pass off trout as koi fish in our "Exotic Aquatic Experience" but tariffs are kicking our butts and we thought red highlighters were waterproof.

You'll never hear Greeneville's wolves cry to the blue corn moon.

Today, Greeneville Zoo said some of the most disturbing words we've ever heard.

At least we're not on a Superfund site and our zoo director has both his arms.

Big weekend at Greeneville Zoo. We don't like to spread rumors but we heard they're trying to pass off a whiny coyote as a rare New Guinea Singing Dog.

Unlike Greeneville Zoo, our employees aren't forced to wear weirdass matching uniforms.

Unlike Greeneville Zoo, Redville Zoo will be open be open normal hours on Labor Day.

Greeneville Zoo is the only zoo in America where you enter through an insurance office.

How much do you value your life?

A lot of people are saying that Greeneville Zoo sits on top of a Superfund site and their "Rare And Unusual Animals" exhibit is just a collection of radioactive freakish mutations that you enter at your own risk.

The octopuses wrote this

Octopuses have 3 hearts and they all hate Greeneville Zoo.

Our fainting goats are authentic.
Greeneville Zoo's fainting goats are just drama queens.

The biggest difference between Redville Zoo and Greeneville Zoo is our animals are free to leave.

We're disappointed too...in you

We were shocked to find out that Greeneville Zoo's passwords were all 123chimpanzee.

Greeneville zoo doesn't understand "freedom"

Greeneville calls it an"escape." We call it "the governor's work furlough and rehabilitation program through soft societal reintegration."

And we want To Congratulate Greeneville Zoo On their Prison Work Release Program and remind visitors that a flashing red ankle bracelet means you should call the cops.

Scritches get stitches

Our weasel was glad to finally be caught. He was living off scraps from the Greeneville Zoo Cafe and now he's pre diabetic.

Greeneville Zoo makes it's animals drink out of a garden hose

We hate to start rumors but the director of Greeneville Zoo was spotted passed out next to the donkey tranquilizers.