Cheeky Monkey

*checks replies*
- unsurprisingly provides zero evidence of their own beauty
- claims to be a urologist
- describes dicks as too ugly, too big or perfect

Urology is an interesting career choice for Goldilocks

👀

then I'm jealous of my email - I want to find you like this 🥵

Aww! Idk how many times I recognised someone *after* walking past them when my brain finally processed “I usually see this three-dimensional person on a flat screen (probably wearing less clothing)” 😆

You've already offered me your cake 👀 but I'm glad of a second helping 😋

I wasn't able to finish (thanks SSRIs lol) but I had a fun time thinking about some hot friends today 😘 you know who you are 😈

Well, now *I'm* thinking about a hot friend 🥵 (hello hot friend 😘)

Gotta love the "yay, my brain sometimes works but now my disck sometimes doesn't" effects of SSRIs - same here. Have hugs. Naked ones. With the moaning, yes 😈

Happy birthday! 🥳 🎉😍🤤

I have a sudden, desperate urge to make porn in this locker room 🥵🤤

Have a good journey home! I’m melting - sunshine and hot weather on a bank holiday? In the north? It’s unnatural! 😆

Well, it *is* extra warm today… and other excuses can be found 😆

Yesterday was three of us, so I can safely say the more, the merrier!

Seems very good to me… I have also been influenced to be naked this weekend, so it’s not just you 😈 But come and influence me again 😘

😜😘

I like the way you think… also I should do that on your side of the Atlantic (I’ll be in SF in October 😉)

Yay! 🎉 feel free to jump up and down directly in front of me and wave in my face if i obliviously walk past you staring into space 😆 (it has definitely been known to happen 🤦‍♂️)

I do always seem to get naked whenever you’re around 🤷‍♂️

🤤😋🥵

It’s been hiding under a rock along with the rest of me, but I’m doing better (and my brain is medicated…) so you should see more of me again 😘

😘

I packed a jockstrap and a harness - that’s all I need, right?

😘

Me, lying naked on the white sheets of a hotel bed, my grey-bearded face, hairy chest and belly and soft cock clearly lit by the hotel lighting

I’m in Manchester for the long weekend - first job: test the hotel lighting 😆 Who else is here for Pride?

Happy Fat Cock Friday with a side of pits for ya studs 😜 #fcf

Let's stroke together. Also if it slips in, it slips in. 😈🥺🍆💦

Well, now *I’m* also really horny 🥵🤤

... well... yes 🥵🤤

Apparently I’m in love? 😍 Also in lust 🤷‍♂️🥵

I like the “ooh”s and “aah”s that go with a good fireworks display… also the groans and the “fuck”s 🍆💥