Sean Patrick Fannon

I know I've been a bit quiet. Moving chaos abounds. More on the other side.

I honestly thought I'd have used this more by now. Then again, being horribly sick restricts one's use of new things

How can someone go from "You are All" to "You are Nothing" within days, when you did NOTHING wrong?

I do not wish to die.

I will, however, spend my last breath saving others from what the educated of us recognize as a deeply dark evil this nation and world has known before.

While I will not commit an act of violence except in the direct self-defense of myself or another, our fascist leaders are seen by me for who they are, and I oppose them in ever way I possibly can.

Dear NSA, Secret Service, and whoever else is paying attention.

Posted on FB; reposted here to my colleagues, followers, and other decent human beings.

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I've been reticent to re-engage with political vitriol on here, mostly for emotional self-care. Do NOT mistake that for complacency with the evil that is afoot.

Love. Life. Peace. Joy.

Anyone who claims to be Good wants nothing more for another human being.

So within a month or so, I'll be in Pittsburgh starting a new adventure. Sober, writing, gaming, and enjoying this next part of my life as much as possible.

My eternal gratitude to all of you for your ongoing support.

'll have desperately-needed access to health care again, and no longer be impoverished.

(Not having rent or a new mortgage means the house sale will become a very solid nest egg for me.)

On the other side of this, I have an opportunity to live comfortably with a dear friend who has plenty of space for me in Pittsburgh, PA. I will be able to sell this house and the attendant property for a very nice sum (and quickly). I

There are too many not-good memories here, and not enough opportunity to enjoy company and what the area has to offer.

...my van all-but-inoperable, leaving me isolated on this Mountain; an absolutely devastating heartbreak; and, of course, the current state of the States.

It was anything but - terrible relapse; the painful crawl back from that; discovering Disability will take *much* longer than anticipated and being forced to beg for help just to stay afloat...

"Now it can be told."
Many of you reading know I've been dealing with a LOT of trauma over the last couple of years.

My move from CO to the family land on Signal Mountain, TN was supposed to be a "fresh start."

:: hugs ::

Indeed! Story of my life.

Realtor coming today. New adventures ahead.

#sobriety

Awoke to rather intense anxiety today, worse than most days. The kind of anxiety that drove me to "day drink" before.

Breathed. Listened to my audio book ("2034," as my current jam is WWIII political/military thrillers).

Remembered wallowing in filth on the floor.

Staying sober.

Good night, Bluesky.

It was a good first day.

So every day, I want to drink to deal with the crises, stress, anxiety, and trauma of my own life; the lives of others I care about and cannot help; and the world at large.

I have to talk myself out of it.

Every.

Single.

Day.

It all went downhill from there.

(Others around me - like Carinn - noticed and tried to get through to me, but I wasn't listening.)

Ultimately, as I tried to work in a "normal field" as a technical writer, the stress and anxiety of never being sure I knew what to do or how to do it got me day-drinking every day.

Of course, self-medication became a huge part of my drinking as my pain levels increased dramatically. When I got my hip replaced, they went down considerably; I kicked all the opioids I was on, but not the drinking... because I still didn't think I had a problem.

For those who remember my "May First Incident" (related to the surge of accusations during the "Me Too Movement," that was the earliest time I remember drinking more to cope than to just have fun or manage pain.

Escaping my anxiety, depression, and overall trauma. The chaos of my life grew worse and worse over time, and what was a "fun pastime" became a coping mechanism.

One of the things I need to get back to talking about is my constant recovery from alcoholism. Someone asked me today -

"What was your main motivation for drinking? Escape? Habit? Something else?"

More in the comments -

Can we please call this what it is?

What I don't understand is how The Richest Man in the World (who considers himself so F-ing brilliant) could possibly think this was a "Good Idea?"