esker

feel like all i’ve done is sleep today bc my wakeup time was messed up. and i keep having to pay for it

also i always fight off the urge bc it’s not tumblr in 2012 but i wish it was sometimes

sometimes you wanna lyricblog so bad but i dont wwnt to get cancelled

today i went outside and thought to myself “i love wearing pants and a jacket. bitches love wearing pants and jackets” i love ACTUAL AUTUMN i wore a HAT today

current goal in life is daring men i know to call me slurs. this is the true me. hopefully this doesn’t backfire

noooo ;_;

the large fire wolf pokemon Arcanine stands under a Japanese torii in the forest surrounded by greenery

arcanine commission!

this is not good energy though… it doesn’t make me want to do anything in specific just like. pulsating at the edges thinking

man i feel like i cant even talk about idle shit bc what if people i know see it and are like oh haha redacted was saying that today. let alone the fedz lol have to weigh everything i poast

wow actually today was the first day in almost a year that i had excess energy i needed to let off. the weather is wonderful (60 and dreary) and my horse moans are unbalanced yooooooooooo

shit happened 10+ years ago why did it have to shape meeeee sooo badddd

i should be allowed to resolve my twauma without putting in the work and there should be boys for me to kiss. just imho

when you first mentioned this i thought you meant claw caps for cats and i was so confused

twas looking into going to a figure drawing night with friend as a way to get my ass out of the house around people… but then reality hit of imagining having to do it on a weeknight 😵‍💫 after a day of work with another day of work to follow 😵‍💫

well i don’t appear to be sick in a major way but still more tired than usual and the joint pain… hoping it stays at this level and doesn’t get worse since i have work… want to go to bed 3.5 hrs early lol that will not work

a commission piece about an architect building a maze made of buildings and sculptures inspired by different cultures. The artwork is vertical but can be viewed from any angle. The character is standing in the archway with a scepter. She has bright red hair and wears a white dress. The arch in the foreground is decorated with patterns and tiles. The maze shows a big range of buildings overlapping with each other and some sculptures. There are spiders made of jewels in the corners of the illustration.

A fun commission for Jerez about an architect building a maze.

or wondering if i just overdid it walking this week? did a lot more than i have in. a year lol and maybe it caught up with me

joint pain continues… not as bad as some points yesterday and could sleep in some positions but some very painful and woke up off and on.. hoping just a flareup

omg that’s awesome :3 so soon!!!!

all this fear of being sick lol have napped off and on most of day which could just be catching up on energy but my “viral illness immune response” joint pain is happening 😵‍💫 Fear

wait was there any previous announcement of the shiny dons restock here. that i just missed until it dropped a half hr ago and is gone already i assume 🙄

like having a day where it’s hard to walk around the house and remembering every day was like this except worse and for months.

like i’m terrified of getting sick again!!!! i even said to my friends yeah i think i can visit soon unless i get sick again bc it just feels. likely? always lurking

i think volunteering would do me good but as usual i’m hugely afraid and also not confident about adding /anything/ that requires additional energy and going out into my life. i’m a lot better than i was certainly but energy is still at a premium,.. also finding cv cautious people lmao <3

plans for tonight cancelled so i wish i could find a way to get myself out of my chair and do something… or at least sit in my chair and read… think the heat is keeping me down too.

man 😞 i overdid it reading yesterday… probably like 5 or 6 hrs fhdhdjhd i’m tired today…. brain slow and body tired…

growing up i always needed to find myself in stories, superimpose myself into characters, fictive and whatnot… now i just want to eat good shit lmao let me just taste it all… i need not find myself in it to like it and actually learning new experiences makes it better

UGH i devoured another hesse book in like. just a day or two. idr if i started reading last night or the night before but i read almost all day today. good day off i feel Full. Replete. narcissus and goldmund.

oh the luxury of sitting around reading for a few hrs with nothing pressing to do

like im gonna try swimming on saturday again even if its only 10 min or so 🤷🏻‍♂️ water is probably still mid 60s, doubt even low 60s yet