rowan sexamungus

taught my cishet friend about frotting and now hes posting bangers in my dms

anyone ask why im so itchy its cause im recruiting minions (fleas)

jeremy renner, famous actor who played "hawk tuah" in Marvel's, "The Avengers"

fucking my robot girlfriend but im cheap so i can barely figure out where to put it in her 144p pussy

more hiphop should include a loud gong

(discussing my interests on a date) yes i have various molds growing in my brain

yknow what fuck you (has a loving relationshop with tou for 60 years in a simulation)

i wanna frot with whoever invented the phrase "thinking out loud"

this was the wrong thread these papers are so you could let me steal your dick

thank you again. if youd like to see the papers you signed you have only to ask

the real story is that you found someone to frot with and turned gay forever and thats how you met my father

this guy doesnt know what frotting is someone get him

but you can self frot

growing another dick so i can self frot

i wish i had two balls and no dick

bro your relics are trash. your enchants are weak. i can break your spells like nothing

me after sex with my wife: i cant believe i ate the whole thing!

i gave him a lil pucker the other night

i could pull both. i hope. i think

i need a fat boy or a milf . i pulled before i can pull again

dude. dude the . dude the jose ole ones ill fuck up a whole box dude

naming my son Paul Ean Edwards so he gets really mad at me when he has to sign his initials

i was homophobic until i started ballin

thinking you have an astigmatism but its just been slenderman this whole time

the woke one

you may think im just some 20-something who works at a grocery store but i actually ruled an entire chinese dynasty

growing up i was really obsessed with things being realistic and logical so when id play windwaker i had link walk slowly on the paths instead of running around throwing shit

i miss rodney dangerfield i wish he didnt shoot himself on live tv

(laughing to myself) ohhh that monkey

i feel like i have a monkey in my head witht a projector putting different funny memories in which is why i randomly start laughing during the day