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rowan sexamungus

@samschlong.bsky.social

phone longer than my dick they call me samschlong 🏳️‍⚧️

4,704 Followers  |  271 Following  |  2,657 Posts  |  Joined: 12.06.2023
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Posts by rowan sexamungus (@samschlong.bsky.social)

need a phrenologist to study seth macfarlanes skull

04.03.2026 01:34 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

my girls water broke and a bunch of hotdogs fell out instead of a baby

03.03.2026 20:25 — 👍 5    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

feel like falling down the stairs who want in

02.03.2026 18:18 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

world war 3 in the middle east? why couldnt it have been germany again

01.03.2026 21:24 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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one of my limes transitioned

28.02.2026 22:14 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

im kind of living in the severance world because every time i come home i get black out so my conscious life is just me waking up going to work and then going home

26.02.2026 12:45 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
25.02.2026 16:05 — 👍 2985    🔁 471    💬 20    📌 2

rubbing on my peculiar appendage

25.02.2026 20:31 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i stayed up all night killin some gnomes and i plan to do it some more tonight

25.02.2026 16:44 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

dont let trans people fool you. MEN have peenis. WOMEN have poonis

25.02.2026 12:46 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

witch from hansel and gretel: queer guy for my gay pie

25.02.2026 07:20 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

sorry i was late to work i was up all night fulfilling the prophecy

24.02.2026 15:44 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i gotta smoke an entire doink an watch aqua teen hunger force until i enter the portal

23.02.2026 02:50 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

koko, harambe, punch, we humans are enthralled by the tragic ape

22.02.2026 21:29 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

raising my child to believe flappy bird was the only video game in existence and they removed it from the app store because it was too much for the world

21.02.2026 01:45 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

having a normal-off in the mirror and im winning against my reflection

20.02.2026 23:36 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i know this is what every crazy bitch says but i really think a haircut would fix most of me right now

20.02.2026 21:15 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

im gonna be so mad when i find out what eternity feels like

20.02.2026 21:15 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

transgender grandpa diagnosed with fementia cause he forgot he ever transitioned

20.02.2026 16:04 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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mortality salience

20.02.2026 16:03 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

wvery time im here i realize how much better my life is when im capable of less

20.02.2026 15:23 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

its called a honda grom and i spent my last 12 thousand dollars on it

20.02.2026 03:55 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

PLUNGE INTO THE UNKNOWN AND GIVE JT YOUR LIFE

20.02.2026 03:31 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

eating burritos is a test of trust and defines the rest of your life

20.02.2026 03:31 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

far from light dance unknown

20.02.2026 02:27 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

my boss trust me with the power of the cosmos

20.02.2026 01:43 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

heres how lil tay can still be youtuber of the year

12.01.2025 06:20 — 👍 0    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0
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sorry i havent been aroudn much i got lost in the fog

30.01.2025 02:27 — 👍 52    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

just paid this wizard 5 silver coins to recreate the popeyes chicken sandwich i had 2 years ago from my memory

09.05.2025 05:49 — 👍 8    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

they tryna ban me from work cause i be dirty talking the vending machine

17.02.2026 21:16 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0