post alignment
*allegedly*
I kinda want to make some "now with zero sugar!" stickers and stick them on boxes of kosher salt.
Marketing: "can you help us amplify this?"
Me: "I'm here against my will."
Maybe if it's blended with chocolate like a Nutella type product?
I'd have been caught after staying behind to spray, "*too. dumbass"
When my kid was 2 he wanted a waffle and demanded it straight out of the box, still frozen.
He took one bite of that frozen waffle and knew he'd screwed up. But he doubled down and ate the whole waffle, just staring us down.
We were the ones with the learning experience that day.
Elephant in the room.
I saw plant-based peanut butter advertised a few weeks ago and like...what...what do we think it was it before?
Previous employer, supervisor dings me for being condescending to our VP. I asked what I said, & when, specifically. "Well, it wasn't something you said, but I could tell by the look on your face you were having condescending thoughts." Waved my hand towards my face, "oh, something like this?"
My brain: "Huh, I don't think there was a Jerk or Jerky Smurf...I wonder if they mean Snappy?"
My inner monologue: "ARE YOU SMURFING KIDDING ME? WE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF SOMEONE 10 SECONDS AFTER MEETING THEM BUT WE REMEMBER SMURFS FROM 40 YEARS AGO?!!?"
it was all part of the process.
that response is like when you're on a team call and a senior leader asks a question and then says someone's name, and that person is frantically trying to replay what was said just seconds ago so they can answer.
I am both repulsed and kinda wanting one for my crocs.
Ah, yes. Thank you for reconsidering.
Are.....are those what you get after brining sea cucumbers?
Look, I usually agree with you, but after careful consideration, I believe this one needs a little more AAAAAAAAAAHHH in there.
I call the week after #reinvent2024, "re:Infect." Today's keynote topic: "Is this dry cough from the desert air or is it turning into something?"
Oh! Good! It happened to other people! When I first stepped onto that floor my initial concern was that I was having a stroke. I took the back hallway most of the rest of the time.
@quinnypig.com search here is...um...still less than optimal. When is this year's naturewalk?
In the flurry of #reinvent announcements, you may have missed two awesome features I had the honor of working on with my team: CloudWatch’s
Explore related telemetry and AWS Resource Explorer Relationships 🧵
I had to take off my glasses. That wasn't sufficient, then I had to close my eyes. Now I go up to the next floor, and avoid them all together.
Such a cool immersive experience 🤢
Every time I see someone go down that slide, I think of that young lady at twitchcon who jumped into the foam pit and shattered her spine. I hope she's okay.
I, uh. I don't even get undressed with unprofessional colleagues. That's why I won't take a job at Microsoft.
...jfc 2016 😦
We* ask them to do three gratitudes every night at dinner. The tween pretty much says, "Dinner, the dog, and I'm not in school right now" every night. We* usually ask him to try harder to come up with at least one unique thing.
[* my wife]
Hope you're okay, other than the loss of your remaining sliver of faith in the goodness of humanity and ability to trust anyone driving a Kia.
Pocket computers.
That.....that can't be. That would make me (does the math) oh shit.
