ꉣꍟꋪꋪꌩ ꉓꂦꈤꈤ

Premature ejaculator seeks a young attractive
woman for a fling.

Must have large tits big lips and a tight arse
and aaaaaw, fuck sake, - never mind!! 🍺😎

I got fired from a sperm bank. Every time someone walked in l'd say, get a load of this guy. 🍺😎

I use to date a girl so tall...
I had to go up on her. 🍺😎

I was engaged to a woman with a prosthetic leg.
Until I broke it off. 🍺😎

I was engaged to a woman with a prosthetic leg.
Until I broke it off. 🍺😎

My girlfriend insisted that tell her my complete sexual history.
So I told her about my first time and listed all the women slept with up to her.
And that is where I should have stopped. 🍺😎

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@heavymetalofficial.bsky.social got my 1st 2 copies of several copies of the relaunch of Heavy Metal Magazine #1.

I asked 100 women about the shampoo they use In the shower The number one answer by far was "who are you; get out of my bathroom" 🍺😎

What do a 🐓 and a Rubik's Cube have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets 🍺😎

My sex life is like my childhood friend.
Imaginary
🍺😎

What's the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and a spasmatic oyster farmer?
One fucks between shits and the other shucks between fits.
🍺😎

When Chuck Norris goes online Chat GPT asks him the
questions.
🍺😎

My wife always tells me I seem a lot smarter after we have sex.
So explain to her that of course am smarter. Because while we are having sex am plugged into a "Know it all" 🍺😎

Nothing worse than after sex, looking down and
seeing that limp used condom hanging off your
dick.
Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you
started. 🍺😎

I was fired from my job because I asked my customers whether they preferred 'smoking' or 'non-smoking'
Apparently the correct terms are 'cremation' and 'burial'
🍺😎

Me: "Squirting isn't real, right? Isn't it just urine?"
Interviewer: "I meant any questions about the job"
🍺😎

My sex life is unbelievable. Whenever I tell people I have a sex life, they don’t believe me. 🍺😎

Yesterday, Pope Francis checked his calendar and yelled at his secretary
“A meeting with J.D. Vance?? That’s the last thing I wanna do!”
🍺😎

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A woman I slept with told me I had the biggest penis she’d ever seen.
Turned out she was blind. She was just pulling my leg.
🍺😎

Why did the wench laugh at the pirate's dick?
'Scurvy
🍺😎

I went to my doctor for some help on erectile dysfunction.
The doctor said, "the best thing I can recommend first is diet and exercise."

I replied, "Sure, but how am I supposed to convince my wife to diet and exercise?"
🍺😎

Q: What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A: A liquor cabinet.
🍺😎

Why do female skydiver’s wear a jock strap?
So they don’t whistle on the way down. 🍺😎

Decisions, decisions Plastic surgeons can now give you a second penis.
I'm tempted but I'm worried it might make me a bit two cocky..... 🍺😎

What Should You Do if Your Partner Starts Smoking?
Slow down and use more lube
🍺😎

My girlfriend just accused me of cheating, so I broke up with her.
She was starting to sound just like my wife. 🍺😎

Donate to Support a 53-Year-Old's Dream to Graduate, organized by Tabitha Napier I'm a 53-year-old student at the University of Kentucky. An unexpected bill h… Tabitha Napier needs your support for Support a 53-Year-Old's Dream to Graduate

Helping out a friend with her GoFund me.
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