Matt Goudie

Last night I had a dream I had a business meeting with Seth Rogen and he got really enamoured with me and told me I had the spirit of a poet

Listen I know HE's not Frankenstein, he's Frankenstein's Monster, but then why is SHE the Bride of Frankenstein?

My drag queen name would be Luxating Patella

I'm going to be the first person to fly to the moon and write upon its surface the words "COCA COLA™️"

Friday!! #a24 #thelighthouse #willemdafoe #roberteggers #sketch #digitalart

Do you think someone with four arms would have an easier time patting their head and rubbing their belly

a man in a red robe says we 're gonna do great things netflix ALT: a man in a red robe says we 're gonna do great things netflix

Still waiting for the Father Paul pop

My gender is

❎ Male

❎ Female

❎ Non-binary

✅ 𝘔𝘢𝘮𝘢 by My Chemical Romance

Do people that order drinks with bitters also chew their Tylenol

Gay Bowser implies the existence of Straight Waluigi

I just finished my first book on a Kindle and it doesn't tell you at the end how fast you read the book despite knowing the average time it takes to read the book which defeats the whole purpose of reading the book, which is to win

Last night I dreamt I was on an episode of Game Changer which culminated in a fan vote between me and Ben Schwartz and I had to plead to the camera to let me win because I knew I would never be as funny or likeable as Ben Schwartz

The government doesn't want you to know that the America's Funniest Home Videos theme is ska

Made spaghetti yesterday but forgot we were out of parmesan. Turns out spaghetti isn't my favourite meal I just really like cheese

Remi Wolf can never collab with Rick Springfield because he's a working class dog and she's allergic

Crazy in this day and age that I can Uber basically anything to my door but I can't call the ice cream truck to swing by my neighbourhood

Has it really been TEN YEARS of Pale Horses?????
#mewithoutYouForever

Chubby Bunny but with hot dogs

@xbox.com @microsoft.com WHERE IS FABLE YOU COWARDS

Guy at the Ren Faire today said I looked like medieval Cassian Andor so I think I'll probably think about that for the rest of my life

I don't go to therapy because the therapist would simply realize I am so well adjusted and self-actualized that I would win the therapy

If Trump was the one who had received a cancer diagnosis we wouldn't know until after he dropped dead. Trump would never admit it.

I'm a one issue voter and that issue is making the Colborne Big Apple even bigger

Pronouncing Green Day like Hyundai

Shout out to this stunning 2022 eco-mix pressing of Bad Book's first self-titled. Other eco-mixes I've bought in the past have been a bit sludgey but this came out so great I don't even feel bad about missing the 10th anniversary pressing anymore. #vinyl

Honored to celebrate 10 years of The Witcher 3 with an official artwork made with @CDPROJEKTRED & @thewitcher
Thank you for trusting me to illustrate the White Wolf ( again ❤️ )

#TheWitcher3 #WhiteWolf #Witcher10thAnniversary

Page 110 of Brandon Sanderson's "Mistborn" with the highlighted passage ' "I... assumed that I'd have to earn this somehow." "What's there to earn?" Kelsie said, pulling out his own cloak. "This is who you are, Vin." '

Forgive me Mr. Sanderson, I was not familiar with your game #mistborn

a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face . ALT: a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face .

After Laughter came out 8 years ago

Filling out the gender box on the form as Other: [Mama by My Chemical Romance]

It has come to my attention that when other people fly in their dreams they do not also flap their arms like a bird