Ava G.

I like when the name of a new band sounds like the name of an old band and you're like, Oh, kind of a clumsy reference, but sure! But then you realize the new band is so young they just haven't heard of the famous band they accidentally ripped off

Did I bring enough instrument cables. What about the tiny cables

I wish I just got stage fright, instead I am plagued by Logistical Anxiety

Thank you for this tip! I did not know, I just assumed they would think I'm a huge creep

I have all these starbucks gift cards from my students but every time I go there and stare at the menu I'm faced with the truth that what I really want is just a glass of milk

happy summer solstice ☀️ please remember to sacrifice the two eldest members of your village by sundown

When your long-anticipated bath is actually just 30 minutes of vigorous naked bathtub cleaning

Was behind a car with a vanity plate that read "SRSLY" and I was like, Humans shouldn't exist. But the next car had a bumper sticker that said "keep honking I'm listening to Alexisonfire's 2005 Screamo Masterpiece Watch Out" and I was like, Well alright

Made a mental list of all my symptoms to google and then was like "oh it's stress"

Spent Friday night sitting quietly forcing myself to understand the Monty Hall problem and then all night I dreamed about goats

Rediscovering my casual academic interest in serialized literature i.e. Wattpad omegaverse romances

peak times when a band would be from Boston and so they would name themselves Boston.

Harry Potter keeps coming up in the podcasts I listen to lately so now I'm thinking about it all over again, like, this world had 4 types of people: brave, nerds, evil, and perfectly nice i.e. embarrassing, and we were surprised that JK turned out to be kind of unhinged?

You guessed it

It was +37 C on Tuesday and now it is snowing, and that is why I live in this freakish place. It is like a cursed kingdom in a fantasy novel

I put sugar in my salads that's how bad I need the dopamine

Garden Steg

Oh sorry I just assumed he was an AI!

I realize this makes me sound like a manic pixie dream person but I assure you i am the main character in this story

I once met someone at a bar by sitting alone reading about my favourite dinosaur on my phone until a person came up and was like, Excuse me are you just looking at dinosaurs?

masterful analysis here by the national post. "if things had been different, the outcome of those things would be different" cool thanks bro

What they are TRYING to say is that if he'd been running in any of the federal elections PRIOR to this one, then some sort of time travel shenanigans could be at play and the stability of the universe itself could be at risk

The only reason I thought you might be trapped in a vortex was usually you just won't shut up about them and suddenly you had this whirling shit eating spin on your face

Nope, good try AI. Where is the synth saxophone melody?

I dare AI to try and compose phone hold music as bad as what humans can make

It's truueee

If they actually do it we can hold it against them for years to come, that part I'm looking forward to

Also, today I learned that Winnipeg is planning to obliterate our gophers with a gopher hole bomb called Giant Destroyer wtf

Just did my taxes and now I feel like I don't have to accomplish anything again for 2 weeks