Rob of San Francisco

This Lisbon neighborhood we’re staying in is great, except for the iron monger. There is literally an iron monger right across the street. Mongering iron. At this very moment. He is mongering.

Horrid black deep-sea, eel-like fish with giant lamplike eye and needle teeth, lying dead on a bed of ice, marked 12 euros a kilo.

Portuguese Halloween Fish. Handed out to trick-or-treaters. When children finish eating one, they get to spread the bones in their parents’ bed as a memento mori. It’s a deeply religious country.

I hate the sound of joy.

“Interesting contraption. It’s been newly fangled, I take it?”

—Me, shopping for an electric car

A dog sits near a tall shoe rack filled with various types of shoes in a room with wooden flooring. All shoes are stacked on high shelves, out of the dog’s reach.

“Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I’m sensing a lack of trust here, and frankly, it hurts my feelings.”

BREAKING: This is in Trump's back yard. Washington DC No Kings Day Protest. This is just the start of the day.

It is absolutely unbelievable how many people are turning out for this. I love how everyone is staying peaceful. It's exactly what Trump doesn't want.

😍 Boston, you are beautiful. #NoKings

One law that really appears to have died the death of ages is the Hatch Act. No one but a few good government watchdog types even pretends to care it exists anymore.

The baritone whose voice was used in Bugs Bunny’s “Long-Haired Hare” was Nicolai Shutorev, who was born in San Francisco in 1914 and attended Mission High School, so don’t tell me the creation of the Information Superhighway was all for nought.

“At what age does the average man start shuffling?”

and other AI research projects that have kept me away from BlueSky the last couple weeks . . .

Hey, @colbertlateshow.bsky.social Since you don't usually do a new show on Friday nights anyway, how about turning the entire show over to @jimmykimmellive.bsky.social ? Counter-programming for what ABC is putting in his time slot.

Simple line drawing cartoon. One fly buzzing above meal on a table asks another one on the food, “Do you ever wonder what you would change if you had your whole life—all 28 days—to live over again?” Other says, “Non, je ne regrette rien.”

Existential conversation between flies.

The 400 richest Americans are now worth a record $6.6 trillion, after getting $1.2 trillion richer over the past year alone.

Meanwhile, the rest of the country is getting squeezed by tariffs and high prices for groceries, utilities, and health care.

The system is broken.

White-framed chalk menu sign in window of cafe: “Lunch Special: Half Roasted Chicken with Salad.”

Tempting, but is the risk of salmonella worth it?

One fly talking to another on a dog turd: “Has it ever occured to you that in two generations, three tops, no one will remember us? They won’t even remember we existed.”

Depressed fly

Started watching another #starwars franchise. Where the planets are 50 miles apart, the good guys all wear bathrobes, the bad guys wear jodhpurs, and the appliances talk.

Doorbell went out, so we’ve hung the French horn on the door.

Left side of picture is a giant book with the words "The entire Greek mythology" Right side is a much smaller book with the words "Greek mythology if Zeus wasn't horny."

#Mythology

FROM THE NATION THAT IS A UTOPIA FOR WORKERS AND A PARAGON OF SOCIAL SOLIDARITY, WE WOULD LIKE TO WISH THE WORLD, NOW THAT WE JUST REMEMBERED, AT 7:35 PM, THAT IT’S LABOR DAY AND THAT LABOR DAY IS . . . LIKE . . . A CELEBRATION OF LABORERS AND WHATNOT, HAPPY LABOR DAY!

“I’ve been in the collander trade seventeen—wait—could it be eighteen? years now. God, time flies! Anyway, ramikins, too, but I really consider myself more of a collander man…”

—I’m always uncomfortable at a toga party, so I’ve got a whole spiel worked out to be left alone.

Why are they butterflies and not superflies?

Low saturation, perhaps somewhat disquieting photo (if you know the guy) of shadow of dragon palm leaves on a white door.

Ever since we brought home the dragon palm, it’s been moving around the room when we’re not looking in order to get the creepiest, most Hitchcockian shadows on whatever door or wall it can, and now we’re afraid to throw it out because it’s gotten all the other plants on its side.

Corner establishment: BIG BEAR TEA. DONUT & CHINESE FOOD (Punctuation sic.)

Why would I not want to live in a city?

“Your Honor, I was EITHER going 47 mph OR I was in a 30 mph zone. Since BOTH cannot be proven…”

“A zone is not an exact position in space. Pay the fine, sir, before I find you in contempt. You think you’re the first joker I’ve had here trying to get away with the Heisenberg Defense?”

Cheesy internet ad w/ picture of one foot standing on a sheet of tin foil and the other wrapped in tin foil: “Wrap Aluminum Foil Around Your Feet, Here’s Why”

Because it’s the year 2025, the USA is run by a strongman, and truth is no longer verifiable?

“While dark energy does explain the accelerating expansion of the known universe, I’m afraid it’s still non-exculpatory in the present circumstance, sir. License and registration, please.”

Close-up of one small “sailor” jellyfish on sand, out-of-focus breakers in the background.

Close-up of many by-the-wind sailors (valella valella) washed ashore among green seaweed.

Big beaching of by-the-wind sailors on Ocean Beach yesterday (Valella valella). (To be sung to the tune of Corina, Corina.)

Guy Pabst, with a face like a Westinghouse and the demeanor of an Anabaptist, all 5’2” in heels of him, and high heels at that, stormed into the wake with the red lace athletic supporter dangling pincered between index and thumb and cried, “Better be the last one of these I find in the driveway!”

… and there he was, kazooing La Marseillaise, with three guns drawn on him and the sun just peaking over the laundromat on the corner.

#oneofthosedays