lizard

listening to Jesy Nelson talk makes me feel like that scene of Rachel Amber in Before the Storm where she’s like “oh boohoo sad Chloe’s fucking sad again!!”

hello??? who is wellness checking me via instagram???????

god so real

every day I wake up sobbing because everything is miserable and I feel like a walking corpse

if this is my Saturn return I feel destroyed

It’s been crazy and pretty bad :( they’re telling us we can go back tomorrow but idk they’ve lied so many times to us who knows :/

it’s so jarring to see a lesbian couple where they both eat meat and they post their dinner and it’s like the American classic slab of meat + two unseasoned pieces of asparagus like why are you doing that there’s no man there forcing you to eat like that….

haven’t asked once if I’m ok while I’ve been homeless for 2 weeks but thank god you get your brain rot slop time every morning at the ass crack of dawn!!!!!

I am so fucking sick of waking up to notifications of the friend so desperate to be mysterious accidentally sending, then promptly deleting, messages on TikTok at 5am

yes!! If we plan it strategically we could knock out 2 months in 1 trip👀👀

my personal favorite months to visit Disney so far:
• October
• December (I’ll fight the crowds idc)
• April

not to be the whitest person ever but it is a personal goal of mine to go to Disney World in every month and after my trip in March I’ll only have 3 more months to goooo (Jan, Feb, & Sep)

idgaf about getting someone to do my makeup but if I was rich I’d pay someone to give me a blowout every 3-5 days

Chappell Roan is leaving her talent agency led by Casey Wasserman after he appeared in the Epstein files.

Happy birthday!!!

me who has barely slept or eaten since Monday: huh I wonder why I’m so exhausted all the time???

OOP

I wear a size XL everyone needs to relax I am not doing that shit

my pediatrician (who’s a family friend PLS don’t think I go to one at 28!!) recommended I go on GLP1s?!?!! So did two other of my mothers medical friends????

so far this year has felt like being awake during surgery

I agree!!!!!
But I’m like how mad can I be when it feels like that entire cast has defended him atp lmao 💀💀

She has a right to be annoyed that 3rd place is announcing herself “the best player of the season” and constantly broadcasting bc that she thinks the whiny white man should’ve won over Ashley like that shit is RUDE and uncalled for!!!!

I feel like I’m seeing a lot of people turn on Ashley (bb27) post season but I’ve yet to see her say or do something bad am I missing something??

as soon as you admit out loud that you relate the most to George Costanza you’ve guaranteed yourself a spot in Hell

I think I’ve slept maybe 2-3 hours a night since Monday

even then it’s like you gotta come in to do the interview and talk specifics anyway what’s the point of the letter???

my family is so random about what they approve and disapprove of like tell me why I finally admitted to them I auditioned for big brother and I’ve gotten zero pushback and in fact THEY are telling ME that the casting process has started again?? meanwhile they can barely choke out that I’m gay

how do I become the first Bluesky influencer

maybe the most shocking news of all I just saw Alfie Deyes like an anti ChatGPT video on instagram