Charlie Vergos

Blue state liberals & Rural TN Trumpers

🫱🏻‍🫲🏾
^
Pearl-clutching about crime in Memphis without actually caring about fixing it and validating Trump’s false premise for sending in the National Guard to stand around buying blue Powerade at the Bass Pro Pyramid

If your city isn't being threatened by the feds, it's lame as hell

Excited to see him try to do crowd work with the North Sentinalese one day

As someone who’s had to substitute teach a class without a lesson plan before, I don’t envy ICE rn.

Re: National Guard in Memphis-

You know all these out of town folks gonna be out here looking up “crime” on Google maps

A fun thing about Memphis rn is if you just moved here for a medical rotation or TFA and own a pair of hiking boots, you could convince folks you’re the National Guard

i do not think americans want to live in a culture where jimmy kimmel is considered too edgy for television

The more I read about this order to send the National Guard to Memphis, the more it seems like this is the plan so far:

1.) Send a press release
2.) ?????

Harper Lee was also southern!

Man, I’m just trying to go about my Saturday in peace. Crazy that this dude comes from the same country as Jim Henson

Denver hack: “I’m sorry, I’m still getting used to the altitude and have the spins” is a great way to get out of talking to someone with a clipboard

I’m not lonely enough to be a content creator

Writing e-mails should be hard. I already got 8,000 of those shits to sort through as is, I don’t need those sick fucks to be more productive.

“Oh, wow, look how efficient my gym membership’s debt collection team has got”

Anyways, at the Comedy Fort in Ft. Collins tomorrow night

There’s this moderate consensus among learned people rn that “no, obviously businesses shouldn’t rely entirely on AI to do people’s jobs, but it can be a useful tool to help complete tedious repetitive tasks like sending e-mails” and honestly, fuck that too… (1/2)

I’d have watched Get Out a third time if I could

I’m seeing all the old ass boomers in the comment sections saying “send the National Guard to Memphis!” like yall don’t personally remember how great it turned out for the city the last time that happened

Well the good news is that the prednisone I was just prescribed is distributed by EPIC pharma, llc

Rad!

Late night shit: best meal before doing stand-up is a veggie burrito and a coke.

Best accessories for a long drive after the set: Starbursts regular and Burt Bacharach

For the record I have not seen or thought about this movie in 20 years

I’ve been listening to the Mexico episodes of the Revolutions podcast lately and am devasatingly ashamed at how excited I get every time I gain a new insight into the C Plot of Ocean’s 12

What changed? They figure out how to move a picture around a little bit? Papyrus 2?

Microsoft Word trying to charge me $10/month like pen and paper don’t exist go fuck yourself

I’ve been blocking anybody who posts a picture of a lobster roll they’ve eaten lately. It’s not a photogenic food!

The shooting in NY last week confirmed my opinion that football’s great as a video game, but not as a real sport. Like, I would play the shit out of a game that follows a RB through his career and then turns into CTE San Andreas

Too many head injuries and commercial breaks for the real world tho

Tennesseans: Don't California My Tennessee!!!

Also Tennesseans:

Museum of Disgusting Food in Malmo, Sweden. Their brochures are barf bags and it has a “this many days since someone vomited here” counter at the entrance. Also, it’s told with a tone of acceptance and cultural relativism and not just gawking at exotic shit

Would love to help, but I’m busy trying to figure out the whole deal of the lady I saw yesterday driving a green Toyota Rav 4 with a license plate border saying “Who is John Galt?” on my street in Memphis yesterday.

No bumper stickers at all.

I’m guessing yall are counting the two dribbles SGA takes at the free throw line?

Every comedy producer should have a second, different colored light to tell the comedian on stage that the audience member they’re trying to do crowd work with is a known problem and, for the sake of everyone, to please disengage as quickly as possible

Damn yall, this inflation’s so bad, the flies wouldn’t get off my porch until my bags of water had nickels in em!

Nickels I tell ya!