kofii ♡

im not gonna like.. call them out. its more hassle than its worth

but trying to work through the feelings is hard i guess

i saw that someone i worked with a bit ago has become an editor for some vtubers and it puts such a sour taste in my mouth

they're a genuinely horrible person who used suicidal ideation/self-harm to manipulate me and they never apologised.

idk. i just think some people don't deserve a platform

i think its supposed to be. lots of accounts get through the cracks though :c

genuinely grimaced when i saw the labels

???? no you will not engage with my art the fuck

why the fuck is imposter syndrome at a thousand right now i cant fucking breathe man

im jsut gonna go bed and hope im okay in hte morning

im so anxious about my birthday, about my debut, about the future. i dont know if i can do it

i feel like i need a whole year away from everything to find who i am again, i don't feel like a person at all

im feeling so sad and fed up lately and i dont know why

im guessing they're being argumentative because i'm trying to just explain i don't talk to everyone everyday, i have a limited social battery, but it seems like they want me to beg for them to stay which.. im not gonna do if they already have the idea of leaving??? idk

something i've realised the older i get is some people just seek drama/attention and their actions won't make sense because you're not giving what they want.

e.g a person in my DMs trying to elicit an argument after not talking for a while and saying we were never friends in the first place

silly take do not take me seriously. this is not really a serious post, just wanted to ramble cause im feeling bad about my art :3

i do call some pieces of work sketches (cause they take little time, have mistakes, etc.) but i know some people disagree with that bcs a sketch traditionally is pencil on paper in a few mins or smth

idk, i just think it being used for very rendered things to imply effortless/easy is bad idk :c

probably a hot take (and also probably gonna be called a hypocrite cause some people have said this about when i do it) but i think artists should stop posting full rendered art that takes multiple hours and calling it a "doodle/sketch" ;;

it makes me feel so bad about my art, like idk

An anime girl. The panelse read "this shit... is so ass."

why was i born to be an artist bro can i please just have skills for something else where i don't work my ass off for such little gratitude lmfao

im fine i just dont like conflict but i shouldn't have responded in the first place tbh that's on me

i never even said that they thought it was bad, i said saying cost isnt worth it (i.e. PRICY) can give the IMPRESSION

pricy can mean "i wont use this enough for how much it costs" such as a new car

pricy can mean "the quality of this isn't what i expect" i.e new clothes

its CONTEXTUAL graghrsdjrh

then to be accused of poor reading comprehension because there wasnt context in the tweet is fucking wild.

oh well. i've blocked and im trying to move on but i am still reeling from the whiplash of everything

like 10% of the price for a base custom model is so cheap, i can't imagine the difficulty of having to surmise two years of work into just $100ish dollars. then having people publically QRT and without context say its pricy

i didnt know they were a uni student, or that they meant personally.

holy fuck dude you cannot have an opinion on twitter or provide input without someone assuming because you're disagreeing its an attack

i was just trying to defend the artist and i have DMs telling me how im such a horrible person who hates the poor

.. no???????? what?

i feel like all my art at the minute its so samesy and i am worried nobody really likes it but no one has it in themselves to say something about it

this!!

its even worse bcs person i am subtweeting about (which is really immature and i feel kind of bad about it) is SURROUNDED by artist friends

its so ignorant!

sorry for the rant. it just is so infuriating to see.

i think my biggest pet peeve too is when people who have not ever commissioned + have no intent to commission illustration work think their input on how much something is worth is important.

you have no idea. you weren't going to buy it anyway. what??

i truly don't understand how some vtubers just cannot recognise the value of art as if their entire career/hobby isn't dependent on it.

like its so bizarre to me that so many people in the space expect free things CONSTANTLY or will complain about prices. its actually insane!!

tired and not doing good mentally. gonna try restart the day and go back to bed for now.

i was having a sort of happier and productive morning until i realised that today is the two year mark since my nana passed. i feel so guilty because i hadn't realised how much time had passed and for feeling kind of okay on what is a terrible day

i hate that closer to when we’re being kicked out the more my in-laws are being abusive. i genuinely can’t handle it and i’m a mess most of the time

i’ve journalled a lot these past few days, its been really nice to get my thoughts out and colour code my habits n stuff. i hope i can keep to it

my face is going to be so puffy tomorrow because of crying so much ;;