Null Verba

Innocent Guests of Epstein's Will

♬ I'm eternally grateful ... to my past influences ... ♬

And?

"Well ... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party and, er ... we had quite a lot to drink ... and then some of the fellows there started handing ... cheese around ... and ... well ... just out of curiosity, I tried a bit. And well ... that was that."

Image of ziplock bag crammed full of assorted packets of one very specific brand of sore throat lozenges.

Image of Queen guitarist Brian May making a sour expression while peering over the sunglasses perched atop his nose.

Hounds Fighting For Scraps Under the King's Table said to say hello.

😁 It's like Dean Wareham sang in 1997:

♬ Don't waste your time learning Klingon
It ain't no use
Escape while you can
Escape while you can ♬

What's one notch less cooked than medium rare?

Spelling is like baking. You can't fudge your way through and expect good results.

The 'Bicarbonate of Soda' sign is there to prevent the strip from functioning in reverse?

Sonic Youth get a mention in the article.

Small world.

My official parody version ends with a spit-take and gratuitous rolling of the eyes.

Weird. I grew up reading anything and everything.

I don’t hunt, but know more about @#$% turkey hunting than needed because some of the places I've worked had nothing but old copies of Field & Stream in the break room ... so I devoured those.

Readers read. Vegetables veg.

It's amuses me to remember that actual wit almost never *ever* requires any post hoc I-Was-Only-Joking rehabilitation efforts.

Stanley Lambchop's family discovers that he's been squashed flat as a pancake by a bulletin board ... and then (obviously) they all go down to breakfast before heading off to the doctor's office. It will turn out that there's simply nothing to be done. Image by Tomi Ungerer.

1.) Procure one large uncooked beef liver.
2.) Throw uncooked beef liver against wall.
3.) Watch uncooked beef liver slowly slide down wall.
4.) Repeat steps 2 & 3 as deemed necessary.

Which version was that?

You've told us what it DOESN'T mean, while neglecting to tell us what it does mean.

So I'm unsure how to answer your question.

Explain it to me like I'm a 5-year old Scotsman about to put sugar on his porridge, hmm?

They: When I say mayonnaise, I mean Miracle Whip.

:::beat:::

Me: When *the recipe* says mayonnaise, guess what *that* means?

If I'm recasting Gilligan's Island with online atheist personalities, Forrest Valkai seems like an obvious shoo-in for The Professor.

The rest is more ... interesting.

Being Roddy McDowell?

Smithsonian Leads Way In Erasing Trump From History?

Yrch!

Leave room for the mint. It's only waiver-thin.

GTA: Land of Oz.

Great! This means that lunchbox and placemat manufacturers of the future will have a precedent for omitting a certain orange heel from future versions of their product.

Show Me Stoopid?

The "is in" doesn't clue you in on when the era is?

♬ Guess I should've known by the way you parked the Batmobile sideways that it wouldn't last? ♬