The Tony ™

Just got back from the Vet.

Forgot the dog.

Heading back to the Vet now with dog AND coffee.

I am learning to say no under the disguise of an giant exaggerated cough.

As a calculus teacher, I go off on a tangent every day in class.

No, seriously we are waaaaay behind

The most dangerous are the salt water squirrels.

an extinction level event would fix me

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

Once again, we should've never backed off the weirdness train. And a good way to keep winning is to make all of these fascists feel weird by confronting them with weirdness that shows how weird they are. Portland gets this. Everyone else needs to catch up.

You’re not truly liberated until you start appreciating sensible undergarments

Like a lost puppy. I'd be a nice addition to any family.

(on a first date)

me: sorry about *gestures to myself* all of this

I didn’t win a Nobel either.

*kicks dirt*

Pssst, asking for help is sexy AF

Sorry bro, I can't reskeet that, I have a brand.

Trump losing the Nobel Prize to a woman who fought against what he is trying to become is poetry.

Skeet from Dr. Caitlin M. Green showing people in Portland wearing inflatable costumes. The text reads, "There are SO many more inflatable costumes tonight. Clearly, we have settled on a motif."

This is the way. More of this, please.

The MSM does not interview community organizers. It's part of why they miss so much of what happens at the local level.

Amphibtifa.

Happy Anniversary to all the projects I continue to never finish.

Oops! All Bangers

Listen, I’m old and lazy. You can go to Mastadon if you want, but I’ll stay here to get ignored.

NOBODY TRUSTS ANYBODY ANYMORE AND WE ARE ALL VERY TIRED SAD TRUTH HUH

Oh, you mean fall as in autumn, not as in "of civilization."

The dental hygienist cleans my teeth to the sounds of the unbelievably old songs of my youth.

Auto-correct changed "social" media to "sociopath" media, and it's not wrong

autocorrect keeps changing but to bit and in to I and at this point I don't believe it has any interest in being helpful and is just trying to be a massive prick

you are the continental breakfast of people
pass me a bear claw, please

Taking a break for awhile to try to figure out if anything matters anymore. Please be good to each other and don't drink the stuff under the sink while I'm gone ok 🤙

Blaming my allergies for everything today. Someone said “excuse me” and i replied “you’re welcome” — typical allergy behavior

I have a Mastodon. It sucked, so I quit using it. Maybe it’s better now. Probably not. These are all pretty terrible and we’re never going to feel that 2012 Twitter High again. The world’s burning and evil assholes own everything; microdose connection and joy where you find scattered bits of them.