Michael sisto

Don’t expect to eat something fancy when flying. All they serve is plane food.

I don’t wanna go to sleep. Because the next thing that will happen is tomorrow, and I’m not ready for that.

He couldn’t remember the pill’s name, but it was on the tip of the tongue.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

I havnt urinated in a week..i suspect that’s why ive got a severe blinding pain in my side, but im not sure

I learned about the upcoming mobile home movie by watching the trailer.

The detective found the missing train by following the tracks.

The food vendors negotiated a lower price at the stadium, but they had to make some concessions.

A punctuation mark made a mess in the toilet. It must’ve been a colon.

To earn a college degree in eating, students need a lot of courses.

During the trial, the demagnetized piece of iron was cleared of all charges.

If your cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud?

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Arachnophobia is so wrong. Just let spiders get married.

I missed my mini Hindustani stringed instrument practice because I couldn’t find a baby sitar.

if olive oil is made from olives, then what is baby oil made from?

Sometimes you just cant unpoop something

The cheese spent a lot of time at the gym hoping to get shredded.

If you disagree with your tailor, he’ll tell you to suit yourself.

I should’ve known that my friend would get fired from the road department for stealing. The last time I was at his house, all the signs were there.

Sad news about the fire that destroyed the shoe factory. Hundreds of soles were lost.

I can’t believe viruses and bacteria enter my body without permission. It makes me sick.

When visiting Cuba, plan on havana good time.

People who get into sports fishing really get hooked.

To the thief who stole my antidepressants yesterday, I hope you’re happy.

The tiny bait fish said, “if you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.

The student said she was late for class because she was in the bathroom, but the teacher thought she was stalling.

If we don’t conserve water, we’ll go from one ex-stream to another.

A man was interviewed about falling off a tower in Paris. When asked what happened, he replied, “Eiffel.”

I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an ending.