James

I won’t be posting here anymore.
My DMs are open for those who want to stay in touch.
Everything feels like it’s crumbling beneath my feet. Please don’t share this message, just putting out a last one. Thank you for your support.
I’ve lost my marriage and I’m just broken.

Give it a day or three - the abusive social media posts contradicting everything he said and did will soon show up.
"Very bad meeting, communist, dont trust him, had time to think about it..."

I can well imagine. I've gone down the Pat Metheny route - I need to calm my soul right now.

Totally. I thought, oh jazz is safe.
Sarah Vaughn - Just Friends
I think it's looking like classical is the safe bet.

Thank you - we're off to get his scooter repaired today, hardly fun, but it means a walk together, and time is what matters.

Name your top 4 80s films

- Dead Poets
- Back to the Future
- Do the right thing
- Educating Rita

Thanks Dave - it’ll hopefully be ok and the waters will calm

Thank you very much - we’re just trying to be amicable and strong. I don’t want to end on bad terms.

Thank you so much - it’s been a horrible week but I’m trying to be strong for our son - no doubt it’ll feel strange on that first night, but I have all of December here at home and I intend to make it a peaceful and lovely time.

Schöckl - Wikipedia

It’s a 20 minute drive - the mountain is called Schöckl - a lovely spot:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sch%C3%...

Danke dir!

Oh thanks - we played them
Bad album so many times on my mate’s ghetto blaster, just like your NK album, I’m amazed it did t snap!

Thank you very much - I'll keep my fingers crossed, if it's meant to be etc.

Thanks Erin - it's slowly warming up. What a week....

Thank you Samantha, that's so nice of you. I've had so much support from people and I'm really touched. What cheesy 80s video production can do for people, eh?! Thank you...❤️

Totally - if I stay here, I'll just feel low. Plus, it gives my wife a bit of space.

Absolutely - I have friends here and lots to do, I just have to be careful not to allow sadness to creep in and turn me into a hermit. I refuse to shirk away from life - for me and for my son - and even my soon-to-be ex- she will always mean a lot to me.

Thanks a lot Mark, and I feel the love, even in pixel form!
I nearly cancelled my trip to London a week on Tuesday - one of the orgs I work with have their Christmas lunch, plus it's a 10 year celebration since I started working with them. So close to canning it, but I think it'll do me good.

Thanks Jane - it'll be a different Christmas, but thankfully not lonely. The first week in the new place will feel strange, but I'm right in the neighbourhood - I'll soon get into a routine. I'm joining an English theatre group and taking up Paddle Board, plus swimming 3 times a week. New start.

Thanks so much Iain, appreciated.

Thanks Colin. My goal now is a super-calm and friendly month ahead to ensure we leave on good terms. No tension, no drama - it's just not needed. I hope it can be one of the nicest 6 or so weeks. I still love her, but that's staying in my heart and not for me to repeat to her, which doesn't help.

Thank you very much.
I feel like a total failure of a man.
Utterly soul destroying.

thanks Matt, that really helps actually - right now, it's a cold vibe in the house, stuff is being packed, it's a horrible atmosphere and I am trying hard not to cry because it just takes me further down.

Cheers Paul, I’m hoping it will all calm down soon and we can be best friends, but first there needs to be some space. I’m trying to quieten my mind and not think so much

Thank you Steve - trying to come to terms with it all, more videos when I can see straight.

It's very profound, isn't it? That's good that you are. I think I will find a field of awareness inside myself as I step back into this old world.

YouTube video by Alan Watts & Wisdom Why Staying Single Is the Smartest Choice Spiritually Awake People Make | Alan Watts

And this is brilliant - it's not anti-marriage in tonality, just very profound:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bsN...

Mate, you're so right. I'm deleting my spotify playlists and starting with jazz like Dexter Gordon, Charles Mingus, Charlie Parker - no more Sade, Anita Baker, no soul with sadness.

Me....as tears roll down...

Thanks a lot - I know it happens to millions of people, but at this very moment as I walk around the neighbourhood, it feels like I'm the only lonely person - which I know is insane to think, but just an internal feeling.