Just a dumb bitch

Retired four-star Navy Adm. Robert P. Burke guilty of bribery The Navy’s former second-in-command becomes the highest-ranking U.S. military officer to be convicted of a crime, in a scheme to trade a contract for a post-retirement job.

Breaking news: The Navy’s former second-highest-ranking officer was convicted of bribery and other counts Monday, becoming the senior-most member of the U.S. military ever convicted of committing a federal crime while on active duty.

Today I am especially grateful to have a husband that is not only willing but ✨happy✨ to take care of me when I am sick 😊

Pete Hegseth Blows Into Breathalyzer To Unlock Phone WASHINGTON—Grumbling to himself as he repeatedly dropped the device, U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly blowing into a Breathalyzer Thursday in an attempt to unlock his phone. “Stup...

Pete Hegseth Blows Into Breathalyzer To Unlock Phone

Plan To Be More Positive Off To Shitty Fucking Start

Plan To Be More Positive Off To Shitty Fucking Start
theonion.com/plan-to...

Ein klassisches Gemälde zeigt drei junge Katzen mit getigertem Fell, die auf einem bestickten, rötlich-braunen Tuch neben einem runden Goldfischglas sitzen. Zwei der Katzen liegen flach auf dem Bauch und schauen konzentriert in das Glas, während die dritte, mit einem rosa Halsband und Schleife geschmückte Katze leicht aufgerichtet hinter ihnen sitzt. Im Glas schwimmen mehrere kleine Fische zwischen grünen Wasserpflanzen. Der Hintergrund ist eine schlichte, warme Wand mit angedeuteten Holzvertäfelungen.

🎨 Horatio Henry Couldery

(1832–1893)

"Cats by a fishbowl"

Trump To Victims’ Families: ‘I’m Doing Everything Possible To Resegregate Flight Schools’

Trump To Victims’ Families: ‘I’m Doing Everything Possible To Resegregate Flight Schools’
theonion.com/trump-t...

📌Three soldiers are dead tonight. Their Commander in Chief took no responsibility for it, and didn’t show a shred of empathy.
He is a tiny man, a coward, completely unfit for duty, and an embarrassment to all of us who served.
I spit on him.

CDC Introduces ‘Raw Dog’ The STI Pup To Educate Children About The Dangers Of Unprotected Sex

CDC Introduces ‘Raw Dog’ The STI Pup To Educate Children About The Dangers Of Unprotected Sex
theonion.com/cdc-int...

Black and white photo that is a riot of constraint. Some food and drink is set up on a table with a white table cloth. Above it is a window through which a shorthaired black and white cat is emerging between very boldly printed floral curtains. The cat is so cute, a black tuxedo except is has a perfect black diamond on its nose. The bold pattern of the cat combined with the almost overwhelming pattern of the curtains makes the image a bit much at first until you see what’s going on.

Surprise dinner guest! Photo from my collection, no date/info.

Me: Oh no that trolley is going to run us over!

Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂

2025 has been my least favorite decade so far.

Egg prices are soaring again. Here’s why and what to expect Bird flu has killed millions of hens in recent weeks, shrinking the supply of eggs and hiking up prices at grocery stores.

The price of eggs in the US is spiking, mostly due to #H5N1 bird flu. Solving the problem requires urgent, important communications from the CDC & FDA* and rapid development of research by the NIH**

* Currently paused by Executive Order
** Grant reviews now all canceled
www.kcur.org/news/2025-01...

Back on blew skai 💅🏼

The Italian-American Trade Unionists of America (IATUOA) has once again reaffirmed its condemnation of Christopher Columbus on Columbus Day: "We only mention the son of a bitch's name once a year and it's when we announce that he's a son of a bitch on his name day," the IATUOA Executive Committee announced from a dark, smoke-filled room in the Italian-American Club of Shamokin, PA. The IATUOA, founded on the principles of cultural solidarity through bargaining, mutual aid, shared dining experiences, and anti-imperialism, believes Columbus represents the antithesis of these core values Based on his writing and contemporary accounts, Columbus was a greedy, self-indulgent strunz, a jerk-off that gleefully engaged in the enslavement and genocide of indigenous people for personal gain and fame Further, this fucking guy, supposedly Genoese, rarely spoke or wrote in Ligurian or any Italic language. What kind of "Italian" does that?

Happy Indigenous People's Day from the Italian American Trade Unionists of America. 🤌

A two panel screenshot from The Good Place where Janet is speaking to Chidi while Michael stands behind her. In the first panel she's holding up a finger, grinning, and saying, "Fun fact: Columbus in the Bad Place" In the second panel she's saying, "Because of all the raping, slave trade, and genocide."

oh is it monday

A SKELETONE TELLIN YA WHAT THERE PROBLEM IS AND ITS YOUR CALL IF YA WANGA BELIEVE THEM OR NOT!!! AND THERE RIDEN OFF ON A FAT HOG BECUASE WHETHER OR NOT YOU GOT PROBLEM'S ITS FUN TO GO FAST AND SCAREY SOMETIMES ITS GOOD TO GET SCARED BY SOMTHING YOU CAN CONTROL AND THEN ITS HARDER TO GET SCARED BY NOTHING ,IT WORKS FOR ME BUT THAN AGAIN IM STUPID , AND THE TEXT SAYS "DON"T TRY TO FIX ME IM NOT BROCKEN ,IM STUPID" - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

DON"T TRY IT - dashare.zone ADMIN

I think one of the worst quirks of online spaces is the idea that if someone doesn't post about something, they don't care about it. It encourages performative posting often makes things worse.

I care a lot. I just don't want to add another poorly-informed voice. I'm reading & thinking.

Illustration of a black cat on a tree branch, but the tree is a dark silhouette so that blackness of the cat is merged with the form of the tree. Behind the cat and tree is a solid covering of light olive green foliage and beyond that is a sunny blue sky. The cat looks calmly at the viewer with dark orange eyes.

Illustration of a black cat standing outside in snow while snow falls all round it. We see the cat from behind and its posture is happy and curious, tail up and face looking skyward as if trying to determine where all the white flakes are coming from.

These are not Of Yore, but very nice so I have to show you. They are by Canadian artist Gérard DuBois. www.instagram.com/p/CxdPkMZAyf...

A signed and numbered print of the following cartoon: Night. A child reads under the covers with a torch. Father: Ok, buddy. Time to stop reading. Child: Why? Father: we all like spending time in a fantasy world, but we need to sleep so that tomorrow we can go out and confront all the challenges that the real world throws at us. Child: Tomorrow sounds a lot less fun than staying up late reading a book. CUT TO They are both reading under the covers with the torch.

I've added five new limited edition prints to the shop at tomgauld.com/shop. This is one of them:

One of my first major disappointments in life was that a thesaurus was not a dinosaur

This is no world to bring a Frasier reboot into.

Live updates: Simone Biles wins individual all-around at gymnastics world championship Simone Biles wins her sixth all-around title at world championships with a commanding performance.

Breaking news: Simone Biles wins all-around final at world championships, making a triumphant comeback to become most decorated gymnast in history. With this gold, she has 34 medals from world championships or the Olympics, surpassing the record of Vitaly Scherbo.

a birb eating a croissant while standing on a sign that says no croissant eating permitted

become ungovernable

The Verge: X stops showing headlines because Elon Musk thinks it will make posts look better / On iOS, when you try to post a link, you’ll only see an image with the included attachment.

The Washington Post: Threads blocks searches related to covid and vaccines as cases rise Public health experts denounced the platform’s moderation policies, which they say restrict access to critical health information

Twitter/X is now removing headlines from links and Threads/Meta is prohibiting searches of public health terms like Covid and vaccines.

Billionaires are dangerously restricting people’s access to news.

There’s something so insulting about a phone tree robot making you talk out loud rather than letting you key things in. C’mon man we both know you understand beep-beep-boop