Earl Hoffert

Time Traveling William Shakespeare would be perfect for this role, until he is summarily dismissed for "woke quatrains"

*checking clipboard* oh, wait -- we're in a tax-advantaged opportunity zone, so if at least one of you is a veteran it's totally fine

They'll have to stick to their worn out Steve Reich and Terry Riley 8-tracks.

Evaporating a small lake because I can't be bothered to count higher than four when ordering pizza

I'm a bit more worried about armed thugs running rampant through grocery stores than the price of eggs on their shelves at the moment, but you do you

More doing politics The Right Way

Can't wait for the viral video where Chuck Schumer calls them "taco tanks"

I see that Highly Overrated Bruce Springsteen goes to a Foreign Country to speak badly about the President of the United States. Never liked him, never liked his music, or his Radical Left Politics and, importantly, he’s not a talented guy — Just a pushy, obnoxious JERK, who fervently supported Crooked Joe Biden, a mentally incompetent FOOL, and our WORST EVER President, who came close to destroying our Country. If I wasn’t elected, it would have been GONE by now! Sleepy Joe didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing, but Springsteen is “dumb as a rock,” and couldn’t see what was going on, or could he (which is even worse!)? This dried out “prune” of a rocker (his skin is all atrophied!) ought to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT until he gets back into the Country, that’s just “standard fare.” Then we’ll all see how it goes for him!

Kind of like Finnegan's Wake, only we're all going to die

If only she were one of the 100 most powerful people in the country, and a critical swing vote within that group with the ability to grind things to a halt.

Oh, wait.

This is the whole “Biden deported more immigrants than Trump did” thinking about messaging on steroids.

When the Democratic Party is replaced by something better, I hope “for one hairdresser” is on its tombstone.

For those discerning fliers who find Breeze and Avelo "too snooty"

Clearly a UX error. You can actually read the first four words of the headline unimpeded. Won't happen again

This time, the wooden horse will be a stainless steel pickup truck

In This Ohio Diner, Laid Off Workers Cheer On Recession, Personal Penury

I hope they all have to suffer through a Gutfeld (or Gutfeld!) monologue

Cybertruck shaped urinals or urinal shaped Cybertrucks

Found the design inspiration for the Cybertruck

Lest we forget, Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati.

Can’t wait until Captain Chaos meets the most powerful superhero, Bipartisanproblemsolverman

Effective messaging strategy, for 1995.

If only we knew one of the 100 most powerful people in the country who could do something to stop this.

Because some 65-year-old Dem consultant remembers using it in an ad for John Kerry's campaign and how it paid his kids way through college

Ad showing kissing couple and the tagline STDs are Timeless

Happy Valentines Day!

A treat left behind on the DC Metro.

The loot drops on the Metro keep getting better and better.

The .ru URL in the ad copy is... chef's kiss

Not a Fortune 500 company advertisement

Time to see how things are going over in the Other App, what with Elon's newfound clout surely translating into blue chip advertisers coming back in droves. Right?

Pokémon go to the Constitutional crisis

Keeping my family safe by repeatedly pushing the door lock button on my Kia while waiting in the Arby’s drive through

Already scouring Limewire for virus-laden copies of the drivers

Screenshot of tweets praising MLK and subsequently announcing the end of DEI initiatives

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed a subtle shift in tone from the U.S. Department of Education in the last week.

Facebook AI prompts that conflates yesterday’s Starship explosion with the 80s band of the same name.

If the prompts at the bottom are any indication, Facebook’s AI was trained on grainy VHS recordings from MTV.

Because USS Henry Kissinger is too long a name to put on the side of a boat