VAN VAN ✨🪐

I—

Heard Tofu dramatically playing with something this morning, sounded like my sunglasses… it was this lmao

And nobody needs to feel bad for me. I left home at 19-20, and they always say your friend group starts to dissolve in your 30’s (it’s true!) it’s hard finding people that show up for me like I do for them. That will never stop me from doing anything anymore, though.

I don’t really have family, and I can’t even get some of my “closest” friends to commit to a concert. Eloping (when the time comes) is gonna be the move at this point.

I wish people would stop asking me if I’m drunk when I’m just in a good mood. A bitch can’t be naturally bubbly and charismatic? Like—

The greatest lamp of all time has finally made its way back to me 🥹

I love falling asleep with Tubi on and waking up to some shit like “Giga Gators vs 5 Slutty Octopi III: The Reckoning”

Listening to PinkPantheress makes me wanna ride on one of those snowboards in SSX 3

Freaky ass white boi

The audacity of someone thinking their advice is better and more helpful than the lawyer you paid for 💀

Sometimes when I drink, I start sounding like Robert De Niro

If y’all ever wanna see why I am an anxious mess, just spend 30 minutes with my family.

Forgot I was wearing this lmao

First weekend in the new place was a success 💅

Just watched the new Final Destination. It really is just like the Rube Goldberg machine of death 💀

Ranch stain on a shirt is the midwest scarlet letter

My face card declining today bitch

My weird lil alien boi

Tofu has been clearing out the bedroom with her farts man

What the—

Somebody is loving their couch

You’d think I wrote “please trauma dump to me, I’m begging for it” on my forehead 💀

You don’t wanna face her in the ring bro 🥊

I look like Jack Nicholson when I wear headbands

Kevin is a real lover boy

Hello *British accent*

chicken wearing a pair of jordans. her name is Hype Moments And Aura

I made mimosas with fresh squeezed blood orange juice. It’s delicious, but all those damn oranges for 2 glasses of juice LMAOOOO